Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Here's Looking At The Bright Side

I have a lot to be thankful for because it surely cannot get any worse….

1. I bumped into Arrrrggghh over the weekend. It was inevitable but twice in one day? Yes, twice. First time he didn’t see me so I didn’t bother – I broke into a cold sweat and furiously walked on. Second time, being two hours or so later (how do you manage not to bump into someone for over three months and then when you finally do it happens twice in one day??), there was no escaping. I restrained myself from wringing his neck (to begin with...) and so I passed the opportunity to lodge at Kamiti Maximum Prison.

Thankfully, he got out of his car to hug me and was met with an outstretched hand and cordial smile. He probably expected a war cry and a panga so Ichiena working 3Ps - prim, proper and pleasant was a triumph. Small triumph I know but still - triumph.


2. I got new clad. I washed them. One of them had other ideas and decided to copulate/share. So, viola – all my new clad is now tie and dye. In pink angry splotches.

Thankfully I needed new floor rugs.


3. I got up on Monday morning and for a moment I mistakenly believe that I must be dreaming – what’s that sloshing wavelike sound I hear? Why’s the carpet a darker shade than usual? Why does the floor feel wet? My sis left the kitchen tap on (remind me again why I should not throw her out?) I have wall to wall carpeting – yes. Not to forget several other area rugs. Let that sink in. And, yes, the entire house was flooded. Half an inch of water everywhere. Let me just explain what cleaning up entailed – dragging out all earthly belongings and then a dripping impossibly heavy wall-to-wall aint no joke. Underneath it is pvc which was at that time afloat. And underneath that is red oxide floor that has been soaked. Everything water splashed on turned blood red in an instant. I had to call in late at the office meaning more work pileup when I finally got in. My back hurt, my hands hurt, everything hurt. Oh, and this is the time the siblings chose to believe it's my house - I deal with it. They all suddenly had things to do like work/school/rave/taking the dog for a walk/flight to the moon....

Thankfully, the house was due for a thorough cleaning. Thankfully, there’s no stench. Thankfully the kombamwikos have moved out in protest.


4. Got into the office at 10.30am. Worked like crazy. I kicked off by running printed copies of completion documents for a meeting scheduled for noon. Then I get the call. The client decided they wanted to go with Plan B on the transaction. So all the time put into preparing and finalising the documents for Plan A (and I did this over my weekend break), was all for naught.

Thankfully I was running out of draft paper. Thankfully I am paid by the hour.


5. Quick dash home over my lunch break to grab a bite and to make sure the house hadn’t burnt down going by my track record thus far. My phone fell into a bucket of water. It’s dead. Hence the undercover – I have no access to phone numbers. I need to have it seen by a fundi or something soonest. It’s going to cost me. I don’t know if it will work again. All my contacts are saved on the handset.

Thankfully, I have been considering getting another handset. Thankfully, I now have a perfect excuse for not returning calls, missing texts, skipping meetings, being late, forgetting birthdays, not brushing my teeth…


6. They say bad things happen in three. And so they did to me. In two sets of threes. The last straw was when another virus invaded my atmosphere. Irritated me for two long hours.

I am still thankful nevertheless. Thankful that at number 6, the bad streak must now be over. Thankful that, despite the thao horrors of surfing, I still come across gems like the one below to make me smile.

A young woman, several months pregnant, boarded a bus. She noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more amused. She moved again and then on her third move he burst out laughing. She had him arrested.

When the case came before the court, the young man was asked why he acted in such a manner. His reply was: "When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing she was pregnant. She first sat under an advertisement, which read:

'Coming Soon: The Gold Dust Twins'.


I was even more amused when she changed her seat and went to sit under a shaving advertisement, which read:

'William's Stick Did The Trick'.


Then I could not control myself any longer when on the third move she sat under an advertisement, which read:

'Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident.' "

The case was dismissed.

20 comments:

Juju said...

pole about the virus... ehh, about meeting him, perhaps you should have risked Kamiti? Si u jua KBW has connections, we cuda bailed you out!

Anonymous said...

Second? How? Majonzi! Nimekuwekea wanted! Le me go read...

egm said...

Si you just nunua dunlop rubber and all will be well?

N'ways, has the sibling that was thinking of/contemplating/planning to move out do so? Pole dada.

I hope your week is better now though!

Don_quixote said...

((((((HUGS))))) let me just say this, on friday iw as whining coz nothing exiting has happened lately in my life, on saturtday i fell in ice an now my shoulder is busted, lesson learn you wishes will be granted only if you wish for misfortune. Now with that done did you by any chance wish for some sort of excitement coz some nini is working overtime

Don_quixote said...

*jini(sp)

Archer said...

Pole about your carpet! I can only imagine the smell! It happened to me & my housemates quite a number of times when we forgot to put the drainage pipe for the washing machine into the bathtub. Labda umerogwa my dear, coz thats too much misfortune to handle at once.

LOK at Dunlop Rubber!

Princess said...

Sorry about the streak of misfortune that hit you all at once!!

Milonare said...

LOL at new clad. Theres an ad on radio that goes something like: "we've arrested the suspect, he's in a grey shirt!!!""young man in a grey shirt, what you in for?""it's blaaccccckkkk!!!"

Ama the one of the blind date in a red shirt?
"even my blind date is color blind!!!!" LOL

Jadekitten said...

Tihiiii.....END of amusement.

ATI? Ati you GET.PAID.BY.THE.HOUR. Life is unfair. ATI????

****Thankfully, I now have a perfect excuse for not returning calls....not brushing my teeth :-))))*** LOL mara kama kumi...

Half 'n' half said...

Kick out those relas (seriously!)

Misfortune Galore but you seem to come out in one piece - excellent!
Ps: Kamiti is near my digs, next time clobber him, I promise to visit

Anonymous said...

Jo-kimastolla!! and I was wondering what happend to my namba 6xs, good luck dear...double-triple threat luck...
Anithing that keeps kombamwiko at bay...ata kaa ni flood. Mumsie si now yu'll have trocal look...Quoting commercial:"Save the holiday wear 4 the weekend.." ama kitu kaa io...

Ichiena said...

@Majonzi: It's called psychological warfare. Wacha he shangaas when i will strike - anajua it's definitely coming so start saving up on bail.

@Aegeus: First then second. That's how.

@Baba Boi: Ati ameform commission to investigate whether those contemplations are feasible. An iron box was bought over the weekend so there IS hope! I can finally get some, ama? The week had better get better I swear. Tuesday was just as crappy. Kwanza leo i sauntered into the office at 830am because no one bothered to wake me up (phone hence alarm's dead) and when I gutukad awake it was 750! I ask you - why do i have rentfree tenants?

@Don: Asante mamii. Yaani all i wanted was a quiet restful weekend. Guess i got it without a phone! Excitement is coming up leo! I am going to throw my head back, wiggle in dance-like movement and wacha the stress at rock. Wacha the ziks will zima haki!

@Archer: Mhm! Hii juju umetoa SA just because I didnt text! You have a lot of explaining to do my dear.

@Princess: To top it all, shock on me, I couldnt even cry. Tear ducts apparently dried up for lack of use.

@Milo: It's:
"But I said I'll be wearing a rrrrrrred dress!"
"That's not a red dress. That's a pppppPPink!!! dress"
"It's rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrred!"

ama "Let's save the tie and dye shirt for the weekend wear"...hehehe- Mhmmmm!?

@Jade: But do I ssssssay?

@NusuNusu: "NEAR" or "IS"? Lakini KBW appears packed by neighbours, relatives, proprietors and I suspect tenants of Kamiti!

@Teacher:"But I'm in Form Oooooone!"

Anonymous said...

hey ichiena I pray there will be no more misfortunes for you in the near future. Here's to a happy new year starting today.

Anonymous said...

Clearly the phone was not a nokia. My bro's nokia fell into the white throne and he pulled it out. It works perfectly.

Though I've not (and will not) use it myself!

Ichiena said...

@Farmgal: The tide's already changed. I have lost my voice and its a good thing...tiheeheee.

@M: Groooos! Germs were not aware? Though the question begs as to whether the throne was vacant or occupied? Actually, dont answer that!

Anonymous said...

pole about the phone. never heard of backup? learn from experience now.
ngoja kwana, of course u have backup but u still want to enjoy not calling people. nice one.

Ichiena said...

@Bomseh: Dude, birthday's in June. Your assigned birthday gift ni mobile cellphon (lest you get ideas you...hehehe)

Klara said...

Pole for everything!! Sometimes misfortunes get on us one after anotha..
Bt they say: It's darkest when approaching dawn
That story real got me RONTFL

Ichiena said...

@Klara: I have waaaited for that dawn and it's not coming. And would you believe it the phone went for a second swim within a span of two weeks!!

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