Bah Humbug!

So it's Vals again. Like I said,

Bah Humbug.

Lakini I have received some gems I must share.

A. A hilarious word of advice
Ladies...... just a piece of advice today. As valentines approaches, please note that there are two people you should NOT fall in love with:-

1. John Githongo - the fellow will tape your whole affair, and release it to the press in pieces.

2. James Kamangu Ndimu - this fellow might come to haunt you 20 years later when you have made it all alone.


B. These are entries to a Washington Post Competition asking for two line rhymes with most romantic first line, but least romantic second line:

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

I thought that I could love no other --
that is until I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet,
and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are
dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes --
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "Go to hell."

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

C. Then I received these pics! Made my day:

5. Beware what you swear to on the wedding day


4. If taken literally...


3. If we were all truthful...


2. What you will be saying 10 years down the line...


1. And the winner is...



D. And someone who knows how to please a mama..
Cognac laced chocolate people! Getting high under the bosses' nose! A major highlight I dare say.