Rain = Holiday = Reality Show = Landscaping Tips

It rained this week. Yep. You see for me that is an event. A major one. Come to think of it, it has always been.Basically because rain is good, rain is nourishing. And then some.

When I was in primary just a couple of years back (yes - a COUPLE), the rain meant impromptu vacation - what else would you call a period in your life where you get to show off you new weather-dependent (orange boots and red jacket), go swimming (impromptu swimming holes/pot pools), fishing (tadpoles in the backyard) and hiking (the trip to school suddenly took 1 hour instead of 15 minutes because the circuitious(is that a word) route you had to take). Rain = Holiday.

Several years later and rain had me perfecting Complete Makeovers even before the advent of all those reality shows. I literally pulled a Superman in the matt. See, home then was in the bunduz so I leave town and enter a matt in clear office gear - power suit complete with heels. I get to my destination and alight a nyanye (lesso around the waist - check, shower cap on head (I confess!!) - check, gum boots on - check, valuables in big black trusty leak proof uchumi paper bag - check, paper bag draped over hunched shoulders - check and finally blanketi shawl around the shoulder - check). Rain = Reality show.

Fast forward to present time and now the rain practically changes my digz into beachfront property. You read right. I get up to go to work (which is practically ten minutes away - yes you can take a minute to envy me (yet I am usually late!). Done? Sawa, where were we? Uhmmm...yeah). A night of rain and the road has disappears and in its place there's a seething river complete with crocodiles (Sawa! I lie! but it's close). The ten minute walk becomes half an hour. (And that's only if it is not raining at the time. Once I stood across a road for over an hour waiting to cross to my digz! Only in Kenya.) I have to walk down the road in order to get to a place shallow enough to cross to the other side, then walk back up the road, past my digz, cross back again and get to the office. This of course is because the drains stopped existing several years back (what happened to the El nino fund?). Rain = Landscaping Tips

(PS: The gumboots still come in handy. You walk in town one day and see a fully suited mama - power suit with gumboots, stop and say hi to Ichiena).

Now, onto totally unrelated matters. I stay away for a day and return to find aggregator collected and republished all my old posts? I figured the explanation must be:

a) My eyesight is finally failing me (punishment for peering too hard at all those delicious abs!).
b) It has been a loooong day.
c) This is a dream.
d) This is not a dream. The last few days have been the dream.
e) My comp has contracted a nasty flu.
f) I have squatter on my blog???
g) That was NOT juice (fruit...hehehe) that i just took.

Anyway,

Somebody heeeeeelp me?

And finally, my parting shot today - a joke that killed me today:

Unsatisfied Husband
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.

He wanted her to see what he went through so he Prayed:

"Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a
day. Amen.

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.

The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the
checkbook.

He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.

Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor.

Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.

At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.

After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed.

At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day.

Please, oh please, let us trade back."

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied: "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were.

You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night."