Friday, March 16, 2007

Hibernation

Phew! Ichiena's probably lost more weight these past few weeks with all the running around. It all ends this Sunday (like I've been saying for so long!). For those who expressed an interest in Bowling this Sunday, tafadhali beba socks and sneakers if you can. A large crowd is expected, they will probably run out of bowling shoes.

So, blog winter's almost coming to an end and for that I say...........



......................yes, it could be worse.

And to share the laughs that have kept me sane:

Lunch Time
A Kikuyu man, a Kalenjin man and a Luhya man were doing construction work on the 20th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and the Kikuyu said, "Githeri and cabbage! If I get this one more time for lunch, I`m going to jump off this building".

The Kalenjin opened his lunch box and exclaimed: "Ugali and mursik again! If I Get this again for lunch I going to jump off too!"

The Lunje opened his lunch and said: "Chicken ugali again! Man, if I get this again for lunch I`m jumping with you guys!"

The next day the Kikuyu opens his lunch, sure enough, Githeri and cabbage and he jumps off the building.

The Kalenjin opens his lunch, sees his mursik lunch and he jumps too.

The Lunje opens His lunch, sees the chicken ugali and joins his co-workers in death.

At the funerals the Kikuyu`s wife is weeping. She says, "If I had known how much he hated Githeri and cabbage I would have never fixed it for him again!"

The Kalenjin's wife is heartbroken, crying and says, "I could have just as easily fixed him chapati and beef. I didn`t realize he hated mursik with ugali so much."

Everyone turned to the Lunje's wife. "Hey don't look at me", she says, "He always made his own packed lunch!"

25 Things That Men Wish Women Knew
1. Crying is blackmail.
2. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
3. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
4. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
5. Get rid of your cat.
6. Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible
in an argument.
7. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
8. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
9. You have too many shoes.
10. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
11. Learn to work the toilet seat; if it's up, put it down.
12. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
13. Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing
from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
14. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
15. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
16. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
17. Sunday = Sports.
18. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap-opera guys.
19. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
20. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
21. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
22. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done -- not both.
23. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
24. You have enough clothes.
25. Nothing says "I love you" like sex.

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

Fao!!!

Anonymous said...

how did u sneak in na nimekuwepo before comments? nimekusetia wanted small sis.
looking forward to after sunday Ichiena for regular programming. and you shud learn the sheng' thing lest u float on the next Ageus' bloggers meet up. don't say u were not warned.

Anonymous said...

Nyinyi mumetokea wapi na kujaa jaa kwa position yangu? Mchidwe! **Mumbling and muttering to himself.**

Anonymous said...

**while tugging at his long beard**

Anonymous said...

@Bomseh Wanted kitu gani? She's me sis. I cn smell her posts from Timbktu bana.
@Methu hv a beard.....yuck!!

Will def kuja 4 bowling. Cant wait. I'll be the first person 2 bowl with high heels....that is if am not busted when sneaking in...lol
After Sunday utaacha MIA.

Archer said...

My tribesmen shall not be abused in this manner!

Sue said...

So now we all can see how daft Lunjes can be.. ama Archer is one of em??...hihihi :D
@Methu.. ati beard??[frown]

egm said...

You've undergrounded kabisa! But I see it's all for a good cause. May that event turn out superb! Then come back and regale us with your usual Mama Boi wit...

Ati Methu witha beard? Heh!

Ichiena said...

@All:Yaani I was so shocked to log in and find comments already! I actually exclaimed, "aii!". Haha! I have missed y'all.

@Small sis: MIA nimeacha. And I have not forgotten I owe you! Sunday it must be then.

@Bomseh: Regular programming, I can only hope. BTW - new free sms service on http://air.co.ke. Check it out.

@Methu: Long sweaty, smelly beard? - I smelt you so don't deny it!

@Archer: Haki nilijaribu kuweka disclaimer ati Archer Shimolikwekwe is not part of this lakini space ikaisha.

@Sue: Long scratchy smelly sweaty to boot. Not even a coakroach would crawl into it, haki I lie not.

@Baba Boi: The 4am conjugal rights are being reinstated soon my sweet. Veeery soon! Very very soon!

Princess said...

"Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out"..this really cracked me up as did the VS one!! Hilarious!!!

Unknown said...

Aki I was expecting the Lunje would wait till the other 2 dudes jumped so that he can have a 3 course meal. Still laughing

Anonymous said...

Hey! I can have a beard! Smelly or otherwise. With age comes....liberties hehehehe cough! cough! Wheeze!

WanjaKihii the tomboy said...

The 25 things list made my day.
What crack me up is the 4am conjugal rights claim from Baba Boi.

Don_quixote said...

lol archer they all need to shot with those arrows. LOL that list is enough to get one fired am glad naisoma in hiberantion. I see hiatus fever imekupata wewe pia, am on very good meds be nice and i shall hook you up ichiena

Girl next door said...

Love your jokes! The list of 25 things is very illuminating, but of course I have a prob with a few.

Adrian said...

same as kirima, i was expectng the luhya to feast...

3N said...

This list is genius, now if all women could take this to heart and behave accordingly.

bantutu said...

Alarm Alarm [insert annoying loud ringing] Time ya kuamka imeingia...Its raining maji itakukuta kwa burrow and we dont wants you to drown hun....KUJAAAAA!!

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