Happy Birthday to meeeee.....
Happy Birthday to Ichiena!
Happy Birthday to meeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
If there's someone who loves their birthday, it's me. Here's to wishing me another good year now that i have twenty-something years under my bulging belt.
And yes, gifts are accepted (I'm shameless!Hihihi!), and I love all kinds. Best gift I ever received was a home-made coupon idea with stuff like, "I'll brush your shoes for a week", "I'll carry your bag to class twice", "Free movie of your choosing", "Full body massage", "A glorious kiss" and such. Dude sat down, wrote this on a fullscap and perforated the edges of each coupon using a pin. A PIN!! I still sigh when I think of it. Second on the list is the silliest package of a piece of thread, (To hold my clothes together (?)), Some gum, (to remain ever sweet), matchstick (to always stay warm). Yes, these kept me mushy I tell ya - but it is no excuse to send me a thong and a note ati "We are tight like a thong"! LOL!
So last year the gifts kept coming even one month after d-day; let's see if this year will beat that one. In other words, just because I meet you on 12th June does not mean it's too late for my gift, haha!
I am happy! Another year down. A good year too. Have met so many lovely people - outside and more so in blogland. And became thongish with some pals; yet lost some. But I am glad to have known all of them - and given them the opportunity to rub shoulders with me (hehehe!). Then it's been a year full of mingi escapades. Been globtrotting as always - Tranquil South Coast, Kissssumu, Kampala and Baringo. Thinking of doing North-Eastern next.
OK, this was supposed to be a short short short post but wapi! So, finally Happy Birthday to me. Many many more to come God-willing. And it has kicked off on a good start with birthday wishes - two of them bloggers!! You know yourselves - thanks for making my night. You're sweethearts haki!
Now, to two jokes that almost got me fired today:
Colin came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. "Who the hell are you?" demanded Colin, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?"
The mysterious Man answered, "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter". Colin was stunned "You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be, I have so much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family....you've got to send me back straight away".
St Peter replied "Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen." Colin was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen.
A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground. "This ain't so bad" he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him. The farmyard rooster strolled over and said, "So you're the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?" "It's not so bad" replies Colin, "but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode".
"You're ovulating" explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've never laid an egg before". "Never" replies Colin "Well just relax and let it happen"
And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him...ever!!! The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting,
"Colin, wake up you drunk bastard, you are shitting in the bed!!!"
2. Who's Smarter Now!
Kenyatta, Moi & Kibaki were lost in the forest and were captured by cannibals.The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.
Kenyatta came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to shove the 10 fruits up your butt without any expression on your face or you will be eaten.''
The first apple went in.... but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed.
Moi arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him, he thought to himself that this should be easy.1...2...3...4...5...6...7....8...9 but on the tenth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed..
Kenyatta and Moi met in heaven and Kenyatta asked Moi, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?"
Moi replied, "I couldn't help it. I saw Kibaki coming with pineapples ".