tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352877002024-03-07T11:59:39.906+03:00Ichiena?"You are mad" - I keep getting that all the time. This blog is to prove to yours trully that "they" all lie. I am sane. So, if you are expecting something interesting, entertaining, informative, intellectual...STOP RIGHT THERE. You are on the wrong page sweets. Move on my dear.Ichienahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02816554565275725302noreply@blogger.comBlogger50125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35287700.post-1140043483362126842012-02-02T07:52:00.001+03:002012-02-02T07:53:46.703+03:00Dare I?It has been eons. Do i have the time? Can i remember how to do this? Goodness knows what has changed while i have been away ...busy living.<br /><br />Dare I?Ichienahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02816554565275725302noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35287700.post-83023377369616428042008-04-18T21:04:00.009+03:002008-04-19T01:08:02.091+03:00Do not wear shoes when bungee jumping and other things...So the story that finally got me off my fat lazy bum to blogging is this:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_8FrzyaiBK3S3FHSYnDn4__V2GTXK0yoWKuTpuBp86yv03w7MqX6y4dNE2FfI6NmVxzsy-LXH9zLFyHmm9QUpelnp12fYs0OVUHbsRZa8vXuMN7qqDkP_RXRa_1bSVuKdUABjbw/s1600-h/Back-Tshirt.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_8FrzyaiBK3S3FHSYnDn4__V2GTXK0yoWKuTpuBp86yv03w7MqX6y4dNE2FfI6NmVxzsy-LXH9zLFyHmm9QUpelnp12fYs0OVUHbsRZa8vXuMN7qqDkP_RXRa_1bSVuKdUABjbw/s400/Back-Tshirt.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5190653808461096482" /></a><br />And just because someone seems convinced I am bila boobs, here is proof:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6ROx-oTkPCTNZ5Eri66YMbMFuuQZ7xDRD7v-JyanpirEqHVgUfBT6QKhUe_UUkALSUoRWzWNvOuiuYto8E2kwiDUcRUAYEd3zBsAK2ptM5A7MKLQ_uAUU2jlhzvMxJeBak_UQGg/s1600-h/Front+-+Tshirt.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6ROx-oTkPCTNZ5Eri66YMbMFuuQZ7xDRD7v-JyanpirEqHVgUfBT6QKhUe_UUkALSUoRWzWNvOuiuYto8E2kwiDUcRUAYEd3zBsAK2ptM5A7MKLQ_uAUU2jlhzvMxJeBak_UQGg/s400/Front+-+Tshirt.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5190653043956917778" /></a><br />Bungee Jumping. That is what I was up to last Saturday simply because a small kinyangarika was celebrating their birthday and was determined to face death halfway through her existence. I basically receive an invitation to go bungee jumping, without the option of saying no. So, come Sato, I started the day with a grand plan. Which is where I had it all wrong, including the one on shoes (seriously!).<br /><br />1. To eat or not to eat, that is the question. <br />The first plan was not to eat. The idea being that if i didn't eat I would not throw up out of sheer terror, right? WRONG! The sensation of the jump is such that your faculties are too busy panicking, "What the....#$!$#!$%$%@%", by the time your puking faculties realise that they need to kick into action, you have passed out. Or are dead.<br />Lesson: Eat, no, hog like it's the Last Supper. It could be!<br /><br />2. Sagana is only a few hours drive from Nairobi.<br />Not if you are relying on the only vehicle with a speed governor in Kenya. This was not just any slow vehicle - this was the slowest. The last straw was when we were almost overtaken by a donkey-cart. We resorted to threatening mass action on the driver although much good that did us. So to pass time, we worked on the popcorn we had bought at Nakumatt on Thika road (these are so fresh and yummy). Of course, my dilemma a the time was in the fact that each mile meant a step closer to...er...death. And the very thought made me wanna pee every time it occured, which was continuously.<br />Lesson: The road to Sagana has no "pee-bushes". Carry a pee bag, the size being dependent on what choice you made in 1 above.<br /><br />So, it was with a big sigh of relief....<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaaZd2tQ0QFN73dOf_6XnMVv7tHG1adwm4zme5cxJXa3yKtsFMb3u-5uvP01rMywdDCxsJgP1MZa-BeCFuwKTTWyTtDXLYAo2pECUz8Wdn5Raleh8LHy1AkNyRuek6hw5fnEm58A/s1600-h/Sign-post.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaaZd2tQ0QFN73dOf_6XnMVv7tHG1adwm4zme5cxJXa3yKtsFMb3u-5uvP01rMywdDCxsJgP1MZa-BeCFuwKTTWyTtDXLYAo2pECUz8Wdn5Raleh8LHy1AkNyRuek6hw5fnEm58A/s400/Sign-post.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5190664700498159154" /></a><br />...and a big gulp of apprehension to see these:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjFdwdUknRmGgPqlJlHuGRAQkF595Otrol_fK5riIYYqJFMXViVfwMwYrkvpqbBdQT-Bm8ol4Kcn_vpl8tplz8IKCCQHa-CuKNApMMfJzqQRMkWmyuokKXHbU2coAHTAF0a4mCGg/s1600-h/Sign-post2.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjFdwdUknRmGgPqlJlHuGRAQkF595Otrol_fK5riIYYqJFMXViVfwMwYrkvpqbBdQT-Bm8ol4Kcn_vpl8tplz8IKCCQHa-CuKNApMMfJzqQRMkWmyuokKXHbU2coAHTAF0a4mCGg/s400/Sign-post2.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5190665181534496322" /></a><br /><br />3. A 60 meter jump is ok, after all Zambezi is 110 meters....<br />...or is it? Let me break it down, remember those annoying rulers we used to have in primary school that had 12 inches one side and 30 cms on the other side and had this annoying habit of breaking in your school bag despite you carefully storing it between two A4 books? Now, imgaine lining up - and I mean, UP literally. Think of lining up 200 of them up into the sky. That's a 60 meter jump. Nope. A 60 meter jump actually looks like this: <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCNx96LzqA1is97SzIWo5OW4cYvSp1oaGdYz-NMVpGOU-d3ZPzNeEYlDQc9htAcHhLdgkO8s0VEP9vRhhIOD18tCDTjeVTAZgcef8vdThILGRfSHPmRwdyfdklEluFE3dC08sX5A/s1600-h/The+Tower.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCNx96LzqA1is97SzIWo5OW4cYvSp1oaGdYz-NMVpGOU-d3ZPzNeEYlDQc9htAcHhLdgkO8s0VEP9vRhhIOD18tCDTjeVTAZgcef8vdThILGRfSHPmRwdyfdklEluFE3dC08sX5A/s400/The+Tower.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5190676129406133842" /></a><br />Lesson: That picture tells only half the story. That is only 30 meters (gulp!)<br /><br />4. Bungee jumps are usually off a bridge, a cliff, maybe a desk? Easy peasy stuff.<br />No. At Sagana, it aint so easy as walking to the edge of the cliff and jumping off. At Sagana, they get you all trussed and girded up:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3-qlC-g7sqepQOpH3Y9bHtADiO7mwcEKm9z_CAi-HVhD1LTA_COtZ_Mugof3LFMlpF8OZ4RxcKkcxfzPMp-XkMaUXZqyrxVSCyvoOoKbwETCuxkvfDZtWjjXAO_GSgd4t4GEYig/s1600-h/Setting+up.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3-qlC-g7sqepQOpH3Y9bHtADiO7mwcEKm9z_CAi-HVhD1LTA_COtZ_Mugof3LFMlpF8OZ4RxcKkcxfzPMp-XkMaUXZqyrxVSCyvoOoKbwETCuxkvfDZtWjjXAO_GSgd4t4GEYig/s400/Setting+up.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5190683409375700610" /></a><br />then they make you climb up....<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-wMwIf3wc4OzhcOGrmykUEKNQo3LDt47K7Z06y1uj5Gfjab6mlMs1PFhUp2Vxr3kdG_M9cpCh-et0UWcvYr9o-yttK7a_mNtwkJLxhQIXw3g2EnF1_n7hM0DCJubkzazPiOgoXw/s1600-h/Long+climb+up+1.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-wMwIf3wc4OzhcOGrmykUEKNQo3LDt47K7Z06y1uj5Gfjab6mlMs1PFhUp2Vxr3kdG_M9cpCh-et0UWcvYr9o-yttK7a_mNtwkJLxhQIXw3g2EnF1_n7hM0DCJubkzazPiOgoXw/s400/Long+climb+up+1.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5190680583287219810" /></a><br />.....and up...<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJ3xYhSx9lCOHUVjw98fANyGbf0vUgrPPNeotvzSzfEtGEaxAd8t9H06w0s_INZ_aHEzl6_T5tYtKolNlXiD5dUjZuBw6TWD9h_t4w-y9po9fKROLI79zXgdHj4dVd6etOLxPS0w/s1600-h/Long+climb+up.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJ3xYhSx9lCOHUVjw98fANyGbf0vUgrPPNeotvzSzfEtGEaxAd8t9H06w0s_INZ_aHEzl6_T5tYtKolNlXiD5dUjZuBw6TWD9h_t4w-y9po9fKROLI79zXgdHj4dVd6etOLxPS0w/s400/Long+climb+up.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5190681695683749490" /></a><br />....and up until you get to the cage. Yes, the CAGE of no return.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQ0750BiKNmnuqccko-39h1BfuEeOWdSXGbHshxVuGBKxl3my-yIGzTVbK5vhe_6J1pT4qVIWKIRfskuUwDz1xToVSAKtqvEAUf8K0eP_uOuCAzmiDfPQGtHEY-iDUqRHP9a1i9Q/s1600-h/The+cage.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQ0750BiKNmnuqccko-39h1BfuEeOWdSXGbHshxVuGBKxl3my-yIGzTVbK5vhe_6J1pT4qVIWKIRfskuUwDz1xToVSAKtqvEAUf8K0eP_uOuCAzmiDfPQGtHEY-iDUqRHP9a1i9Q/s400/The+cage.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5190684594786674322" /></a><br />Lesson: You have no one - no one but yourself to blame for your jump. At Sagana, you prove intention and determination (misplaced as it may be) to jump before you jump.<br /><br />5. I can always back out.<br />Not if you have just climbed up 60 meters of steel on your own. Not if climbing down will take more time than swinging down. Not if you've already paid for the jump. Not if you have only 15 minutes to make up your mind. Not after you have seen someone else jump - it looks so easy. And fun!<br />Lesson: Do NOT approach the jump if you do not intend to jump. Put down the harness and walk away from it.<br /><br />But truth be told, I am glad I did it. I was asked to describe the sensation in one word and the only one that came to mind was, "Death". Whether that's a good or a bad thing is a story for another day. One minute I was in the cave and the next I was saying stupid stuff like, "It is now or never", "Let's get this over and done with" and then my brain clicked and I realised that I was airborne. And I discovered gravity does exist. About this time terror kicked in - I know I am jumping, I know there's a chord holding me, but I can feel the wind whistling past my ears and it is whistling past so fast, I swear there's a tune somewhere there. I get a fleeting thought on the speed an asteroid falls to earth to create enough friction to ignite because I am moving fast! <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOt8p3Ftt3XZWFbehJwDEVHkiB1FVduriu6ptPQ60qv-VLBmRJsx2XtZ2knC6fF-dkv7QcwRrkJ_QPild8ibKLsFlULch73bgx8hk8BEtMr-mXKDud3Gs_sNRkN8USNlrkcDEUBw/s1600-h/No+Return.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOt8p3Ftt3XZWFbehJwDEVHkiB1FVduriu6ptPQ60qv-VLBmRJsx2XtZ2knC6fF-dkv7QcwRrkJ_QPild8ibKLsFlULch73bgx8hk8BEtMr-mXKDud3Gs_sNRkN8USNlrkcDEUBw/s400/No+Return.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5190691247691015842" /></a><br /><br />I am definitely moving fast! And it's at this point that it dawns on me that the person screaming at the top of their voice - decibels so loud that those pop idols dudes might envy me - that screamer is me! So I stop screaming and start laughing and what do I hear? Bloody #$@!%$%$% They are cheering! The ones on solid ground are cheering! I am screaming in terror and they are cheering?? But maybe this is not too bad. So I start laughing. I was beginning to enjoy it after all.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5VRoaL58IFo4GWPGofpGk1iMCKk-uN55D7Db0PtK3OM5ZqIZJ5sal9wO9EEa8GQuwkmUU17pc-7Nj5d4ji-D-u5HeIGPchNJxBcoXXC4PLtXj_vro3P6UBjGXAYrqqXK5KHa5-w/s1600-h/Help.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5VRoaL58IFo4GWPGofpGk1iMCKk-uN55D7Db0PtK3OM5ZqIZJ5sal9wO9EEa8GQuwkmUU17pc-7Nj5d4ji-D-u5HeIGPchNJxBcoXXC4PLtXj_vro3P6UBjGXAYrqqXK5KHa5-w/s400/Help.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5190692175403951810" /></a><br />Then the first jerk. That's the worst part. The jerk.<br />Now, see the thing is, the bungee chord is elastic. Which means you are like a yoyo. You fall then once the chord is all stretched out, you are jerked back up and of course you have to fall again. I stopped laughing after the first jerk and started yelling again. After a couple of jerks and falls, i was getting the hang of it (all pun intended) and then got alarmed about something else....yep. Don't wear shoes when bungee jumping. <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGg3FZEejRmPrIzUPQ2P6_HWRlziERjUQ_UUYst32LH3gYXbM26845eyY39GvQTmtYCV8_2ZL6m4CLoze0Gu2OdoopRdlkY97bwI45m9ed3k0kgYWyIA02QdrqBeHBmkJIqMMHAw/s1600-h/My+shoe.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGg3FZEejRmPrIzUPQ2P6_HWRlziERjUQ_UUYst32LH3gYXbM26845eyY39GvQTmtYCV8_2ZL6m4CLoze0Gu2OdoopRdlkY97bwI45m9ed3k0kgYWyIA02QdrqBeHBmkJIqMMHAw/s400/My+shoe.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5190695688687199954" /></a><br />My shoe was falling off. Being tossed all over the place, managed not to throw up, managed not to pee or worse. And now my shoe was about to fall several feet down and sink 15 meters into Tana River? Now how? I was screaming now, not in fear for my life, but for my shoe! And i was mad. How dare the shoe cause a blight in my perfect jump. <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk7HmQrITDLs3cvyPoYKHYXfjcwt_EBiSYBjmnPzFNDWY534m5Py83qKj96X_6_JL8WiqBAfCODvBN15_AD5PaIQJkY-LJ4-2qO1INaGxEXUwxtR3HwHRPVLvHmBc8C_3zM3XJ8w/s1600-h/Reel+Me+Home.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk7HmQrITDLs3cvyPoYKHYXfjcwt_EBiSYBjmnPzFNDWY534m5Py83qKj96X_6_JL8WiqBAfCODvBN15_AD5PaIQJkY-LJ4-2qO1INaGxEXUwxtR3HwHRPVLvHmBc8C_3zM3XJ8w/s400/Reel+Me+Home.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5190697758861436642" /></a><br />So the relief I felt when I was finally reeled in was more because of saving my shoe than the end of the jump. And that's when the audacity of it all struck me. Ha!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSLFdKMOBxNj_OH2T887QbZ_cosn14kCsOc-HOSK6S7ocgmd72QfPCWSO7lnXCQ6hmmyRmEQL5nNbI0PS92oVJOAS_I-VBleJZ-DxQayujuGVqELaHHAmxydQpSaJsEhK_TgwchA/s1600-h/Relief.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSLFdKMOBxNj_OH2T887QbZ_cosn14kCsOc-HOSK6S7ocgmd72QfPCWSO7lnXCQ6hmmyRmEQL5nNbI0PS92oVJOAS_I-VBleJZ-DxQayujuGVqELaHHAmxydQpSaJsEhK_TgwchA/s400/Relief.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5190698888437835506" /></a><br /><br />So, who's down for Rhino Charge next?Ichienahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02816554565275725302noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35287700.post-87567978202795629702008-02-29T22:36:00.003+03:002008-02-29T23:47:16.475+03:00It feels Gooooooood, tch, ah!It truly does.<br /><br />To be able to write without time limitations. Without fear of getting disconnected. Or getting an overwhelming bill.<br /><br />And I am all creaky, cobweby, dusty and rusty - I dont even remember how to put in smileys in chat, secondary internet virginity? Ah, to learn all over again. It will be good times. Soon. Very soon.<br /><br />And now, here's kidogo murder of the English language. Too Funny.<br /><br />The Leave Applications:<br /><br />"Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave."<br /><br />"As I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."<br /><br />Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his d aughter's wedding: "as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."<br /><br />"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."<br /><br />"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"<br /><br />"I am suffering from fever, please declare one-day holiday."<br /><br />"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"<br /><br />"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."<br /><br />Covering note: "I am enclosed herewith..."<br /><br />· Another one: "Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."<br /><br />· Actual letter written for application of leave: "My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".<br /><br />· Letter writing: "I am well here and hope you are also in the same well."<br /><br />· A candidate's job application: "This has reference to your advertisement calling for a "Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female"... As I am both(!!)for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post.Ichienahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02816554565275725302noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35287700.post-71047458526203632832008-01-27T16:03:00.000+03:002008-01-27T16:17:53.001+03:00New leafIt's been so long. Gotten all rusty. Lost touch. <br /><br />So terrible.<br /><br />Hopefully though, tomorrow's a new day with new things and I am revving to go again. Keeping all my digits crossed and keeping the broom handy so that I am good and ready to sweep away the cob-webs in my crib. And soon.<br /><br />Phew.....Ichienahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02816554565275725302noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35287700.post-88012832021218249882007-09-24T11:29:00.001+03:002007-09-24T11:29:55.378+03:00Confused<DIV><SPAN class=377540406-24092007><FONT face=Arial size=2>Thoughts flying through my head. All over. Not making any sense. Thinking this, thinking that, thinking neither. </FONT></SPAN></DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=377540406-24092007><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT></SPAN> </DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=377540406-24092007><FONT face=Arial size=2>I want to trust you. </FONT></SPAN></DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=377540406-24092007><FONT face=Arial size=2>I want to trust you so bad. But then, how do I trust? Are you showing me who you really are? Am I expecting too much from you? Are you right in saying you shouldn't have to cultivate my trust. Should I know whether or not I trust you - how does someone know? Why is it that I trust T without having to think about it. Why cant I take you for who you are? Can I live with that or will it eat me alive?</FONT></SPAN></DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=377540406-24092007><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT></SPAN> </DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=377540406-24092007><FONT face=Arial size=2>I love your sense of humour.</FONT></SPAN></DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=377540406-24092007><FONT face=Arial size=2>Yes I do - though your timing is sometimes questionable. I love the way you smile. I like that you smile because of something I say. I like that you like my smile. I like that you think I'm attractive. I like you. I think that I am scared to delve deeper because I might like you even more. I think I want to like you more.</FONT></SPAN></DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=377540406-24092007><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT></SPAN> </DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=377540406-24092007> <DIV><SPAN class=377540406-24092007><FONT face=Arial size=2> <DIV><SPAN class=377540406-24092007><FONT face=Arial size=2>You infuriate me.</FONT></SPAN></DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=377540406-24092007>You have the ability of driving me nuts to the point of distraction. There are days I could strangle you - literally - given the chance. There are days I swear never to talk to you, discuss you or think about you - ever. But you also have the ability of bringing out my forgiving and forgetting side. I let you off real easy, you know I do. In you I have discovered I can be extremely patient.</SPAN></DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=377540406-24092007></SPAN> </DIV>You consume me.</FONT></SPAN></DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=377540406-24092007><FONT face=Arial size=2>I long for you when you are not around. I yearn to be with you, to do things with you, to do things to you. Then when you are finally here I get all shy and gawky. I lack the words to say what I feel. I feel unable to express myself physically. Something holds me back. Is it fear of the unknown? Is it fear of inadequacy? Am I too comfortable where I am? I am outgrowing my comfort zone. I have worn it like a cloak for so long, I think I have forgotten how to get out of it. Am I really ready to step out finally - throw caution to the wind, let go and let you lead me where you want us to go. If I jump will you jump with me; will you wait while I catch my breath? </FONT></SPAN></DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=377540406-24092007><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT></SPAN> </DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=377540406-24092007><FONT face=Arial size=2>You inspire me.</FONT></SPAN></DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=377540406-24092007><FONT face=Arial size=2>You make me see me in a different light. In a better light. You inspire me to better myself. You inspire me to have confidence in myself. You inspire me to take actions that I otherwise wouldn't have. Could you actually be good for me? </FONT></SPAN></DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=377540406-24092007><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT></SPAN> </DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=377540406-24092007><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=377540406-24092007><FONT face=Arial size=2>Thoughts flying through my head. All over. Not making any sense. Thinking this, thinking that, thinking neither. </FONT></SPAN></FONT></SPAN></DIV></SPAN></DIV>Ichienahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02816554565275725302noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35287700.post-80474646452647049842007-09-17T14:22:00.000+03:002007-09-17T14:23:48.559+03:00Determined...<DIV><SPAN class=838075810-17092007><FONT face=Arial size=2>I remain determined. Determined to learn and post a pic-blog via email now that I appear doomed to internet-less days. So here goes another test blog. A pic clearly reflecting one of my madder days:</FONT></SPAN></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT><BR> <TABLE width=620 border=0> <TBODY> <TR> <TD width=430> <P align=center><IMG src="cid:207561411@17092007-1DF0" border=0> <P align=center><SPAN class=207561411-17092007><FONT face=Arial size=2><STRONG>Loosing myself?</STRONG></FONT></SPAN></P></TD> <TD width=190> <P align=center></P></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE> <DIV><SPAN class=838075810-17092007><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT></SPAN> </DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=838075810-17092007><FONT face=Arial><FONT size=2>I have crossed all my appendages that this works.<SPAN class=207561411-17092007> Because if it works, it's goodbye boring days on the job...:)</SPAN></FONT></FONT></SPAN></DIV><SPAN class=838075810-17092007><FONT face=Arial><FONT size=2><SPAN class=207561411-17092007></SPAN></FONT></FONT></SPAN></DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=838075810-17092007><FONT face=Arial><FONT size=2><SPAN class=207561411-17092007></SPAN></FONT></FONT></SPAN> <DIV><SPAN class=207561411-17092007></SPAN><FONT face=Arial><FONT size=2></FONT></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial><FONT size=2>P<SPAN class=207561411-17092007>S: I am up and running but the gmail and yahoo still have more issues than a female with pms. Help me soon? Unajijua. ;-)</SPAN></FONT></FONT><BR></DIV></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2> <HR> </FONT></DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2> <P class=MsoNormal><SPAN lang=EN-GB style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #010158; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana','sans-serif'">So, Pavarotti knocks on the pearly gates. St. Peter opens them and says 'Oh it's you Luciano come on in. Squeeze through'. <BR></SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-GB style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial','sans-serif'"><BR></SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-GB style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #010158; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana','sans-serif'">Pavarotti says 'Hold on I've got an envelope for you from the Pope.' <BR></SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-GB style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial','sans-serif'"><BR></SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-GB style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #010158; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana','sans-serif'">St. Peter opens it up and reads it: <BR></SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-GB style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial','sans-serif'"><BR></SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-GB style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: #010158; FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana','sans-serif'">'HERE'S THAT TENOR I OWE YOU'</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-GB style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial','sans-serif'"><?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P></FONT>Ichienahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02816554565275725302noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35287700.post-86532951924098646922007-09-14T12:50:00.000+03:002007-09-14T12:52:23.225+03:00Peaceful here<DIV dir=ltr align=left><SPAN class=492512809-14092007></SPAN><FONT face=Arial><FONT size=2><SPAN class=492512809-14092007>Feels like it's b</SPAN><SPAN class=492512809-14092007>een a bit since I was last hear. Mhmm. </SPAN></FONT></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial><FONT size=2><SPAN class=492512809-14092007></SPAN></FONT></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial><FONT size=2><SPAN class=492512809-14092007>Today I have no defeated spirit with "I am done" bits - nope. That's the end[, of] HisStory. </SPAN></FONT></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial><FONT size=2><SPAN class=492512809-14092007></SPAN></FONT></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial><FONT size=2><SPAN class=492512809-14092007>Today I am elated. Today I am appreciated. Today I feel happy. Today I feel at peace. </SPAN></FONT></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial><FONT size=2><SPAN class=492512809-14092007></SPAN></FONT></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial><FONT size=2><SPAN class=492512809-14092007>I have a weekend ahead of me and for the first time since I don't know when, less than 24 hours away and I still have no concrete plans. Oh, I have several blissfully sublime plans of getting fitted for a bridesmaid gown (they all getting married around my ears and I had 5-must attend weddings between 1st Sep and 8th Dec - is it because I am the only unwed of the bunch still standing - haha!).</SPAN></FONT></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial><FONT size=2><SPAN class=492512809-14092007></SPAN></FONT></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial><FONT size=2><SPAN class=492512809-14092007>So, now that I have time on my hands suddenly - what do I do? The next time I might be this free again is 13th October! </SPAN></FONT></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial><FONT size=2><SPAN class=492512809-14092007></SPAN></FONT></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial><FONT size=2><SPAN class=492512809-14092007>Over and out.</SPAN></FONT></FONT></DIV> <DIV dir=ltr align=left><SPAN class=504215105-13092007><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=492512809-14092007>:)</SPAN></FONT></SPAN></DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=504215105-13092007><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT></SPAN> </DIV><SPAN class=504215105-13092007> <DIV> <HR> </DIV> <DIV> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN class=504215105-13092007><FONT face=Arial><FONT size=2>Ah,<SPAN class=492512809-14092007> now</SPAN><SPAN class=492512809-14092007> this made </SPAN>my day<SPAN class=492512809-14092007><FONT color=#0000ff>:</FONT></SPAN></FONT></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" size=4><SPAN class=504215105-13092007><FONT face=Arial size=2> <BR></FONT></SPAN><FONT color=#00ffff>An American tourist goes on a trip to <st1:country-region><st1:place>China</st1:place></st1:country-region>. While in <st1:country-region><st1:place>China</st1:place></st1:country-region>, he is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time. </FONT></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#00ffff size=4> </FONT></o:p></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><FONT size=4><FONT face="Comic Sans MS"><FONT color=#00ffff>A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his "tool" covered with bright green and purple freckles. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like it, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days.<o:p></o:p></FONT></FONT></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><FONT size=4><FONT face="Comic Sans MS"><FONT color=#00ffff><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><o:p></o:p></FONT></FONT></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#00ffff size=4>The man returns a couple of days and the doctor says "I've got bad news for you. You've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it". </FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#00ffff size=4> </FONT></o:p></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#00ffff size=4>The man looks a little perplexed and says "Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up doc". </FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#00ffff size=4> </FONT></o:p></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><FONT size=4><FONT face="Comic Sans MS"><FONT color=#00ffff>The doctor answers "I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your "tool".<o:p></o:p></FONT></FONT></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><FONT size=4><FONT face="Comic Sans MS"><FONT color=#00ffff><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><o:p></o:p></FONT></FONT></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><FONT size=4><FONT face="Comic Sans MS"><FONT color=#00ffff>The man screams in horror "Absolutely not! I want a second opinion".<o:p></o:p></FONT></FONT></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#00ffff size=4> </FONT></o:p></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#00ffff size=4>The doctor replies "Well, it's your choice. Go ahead if you want but surgery is your only choice".</FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#00ffff size=4> </FONT></o:p></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#00ffff size=4>The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his tool and proclaims, "Ah yes, Mongolian VD. Vely lare disease".</FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#00ffff size=4> </FONT></o:p></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#00ffff size=4>The guy says to the doctor "Yeah yeah, I already know that but what we can do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my tool." </FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#00ffff size=4> </FONT></o:p></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><FONT size=4><FONT face="Comic Sans MS"><FONT color=#00ffff>The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs "Stupid Amelican docta, always want to opelate. They make more money that way. No need to opelate!"<o:p></o:p></FONT></FONT></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><FONT size=4><FONT face="Comic Sans MS"><FONT color=#00ffff><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><o:p></o:p></FONT></FONT></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><FONT size=4><FONT face="Comic Sans MS"><FONT color=#00ffff>"Oh Thank God!" the man replies.<o:p></o:p></FONT></FONT></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><FONT size=4><FONT face="Comic Sans MS"><FONT color=#00ffff><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><o:p></o:p></FONT></FONT></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#00ffff size=4>"Yes" says the Chinese doctor "You no worry! Wait two weeks. Dick fall off by itself! You save money!</FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p><FONT face="Arial Narrow" color=#00ffff> </FONT></o:p></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p><FONT face="Arial Narrow" color=#00ffff> </FONT></o:p></P></DIV></SPAN>Ichienahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02816554565275725302noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35287700.post-44218549976168748952007-09-10T10:47:00.000+03:002007-09-10T10:57:11.981+03:00Done<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=713154507-10092007>I am done. </SPAN></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=713154507-10092007></SPAN></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=713154507-10092007>I don't understand.....I probably never will. </SPAN></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=713154507-10092007></SPAN></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=713154507-10092007>I am done trying to understand. </SPAN></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=713154507-10092007></SPAN></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=713154507-10092007><SPAN class=713154507-10092007>I am done being patient. </SPAN></SPAN></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=713154507-10092007><SPAN class=713154507-10092007></SPAN></SPAN></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=713154507-10092007><SPAN class=713154507-10092007></SPAN>I am done trying to be thoughtful. </SPAN></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=713154507-10092007></SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=713154507-10092007></SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=713154507-10092007></SPAN></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=713154507-10092007>Hell, I am done trying.</SPAN></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=713154507-10092007></SPAN></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=713154507-10092007>I am <STRONG><U>DONE!</U></STRONG></SPAN></FONT></DIV>Ichienahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02816554565275725302noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35287700.post-73825932866257727522007-09-05T11:19:00.000+03:002007-09-05T11:25:28.241+03:00New blog celeb?<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=806035406-05092007>I get this email forwarded to me today. I start reading and I am thinking, "Mhmmm, sounds like something a blogger would write". I read on, smile, chuckle and laugh. Then I see Archer's and Mwangi's names and I am going, "U-huh!". So, who's the source of something titled "Funga Chips" which has characters called Sospeter and Wilkisita or something (where did you get those names from!!!). Wanted to let you know your posts are being lifted and passed on as forwards without reference to you - although at least no one's pretending to own them.....yet!! </SPAN></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=806035406-05092007></SPAN></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=806035406-05092007>Otherwise, the boss continues to abscond. Dude should have returned on Monday but he has extended his leave for one more week. On Monday I was shocked. Yesterday I was in denial then pissed. Today I have hit acceptance and resignation. </SPAN></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=806035406-05092007></SPAN></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=806035406-05092007>Which means I continue to hold forte when I thought I'd be able to disappear sometime this week. Especially after the weekend I had last week. Yep, I somehow managed to do all the things on my to-do-list for Sato (and managed the feat of showering four times within one day - although the fourth time was at 3am so does that count? OK - four times between sleeping hours). And the wedding which I attended rocked. Made me re-think....mhmmm, might not be so bad after all - the hooking up bit that is. Still undecided on the other bits that go along with hooking up.</SPAN></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=806035406-05092007></SPAN></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=806035406-05092007>Sunday I crashed completely. Completely. No thoughts. No plans. Some tlc. And BB2. Which reminds me - so Jeff's out of the house. But does make you wonder. I don't know - see I figured it's a competition of personalities. It also has quite a tidy sum waiting for someone at the end of the 98 days. I'd figured I'd give it to someone who deserves it? Or someone who needs it most? Or someone who I figure will put it to really good use. And so far, at least in my opinion, Jeff was amongst the most likely candidates who fit this description (forget the strange exercises - did you see his face cringe when he actually saw himself). Yet he was evicted purely on the premise that he is boring. Huh??? </SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=806035406-05092007>Oh well. </SPAN></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=806035406-05092007></SPAN></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=806035406-05092007>I should just grab my bag and go home. I am in no mood to work today haki. </SPAN></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=806035406-05092007> <HR> </SPAN></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=806035406-05092007>Here's another forward that cracked me up because it almost hit home....creeeepy.....</SPAN></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=806035406-05092007></SPAN></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=806035406-05092007></SPAN></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=806035406-05092007></SPAN></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Tahoma color=#ff0000 size=6><SPAN class=806035406-05092007>Meaning of the 1st alphabet of your name(s)</SPAN></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Tahoma color=#ff0000 size=6><SPAN class=806035406-05092007></SPAN></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=806035406-05092007> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: #cc9900"><FONT face="Arial Narrow">Does your name begin with: A<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify"><FONT size=3><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua"><FONT face="Arial Narrow">You are not particularly romantic, but you are interested in action. You mean business. With you, what you see is what you get. You have no patience for flirting and can't be bothered with someone who is trying to be coy, cute, demure, and subtly enticing. You are an up-front person. You often don't get hints & you ever pass any. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is intellectually stimulating otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated. Your mate's physical attractiveness is important for you. You tend to be very practical, & not very emotional. Your choices are very good & can only lead to trouble. You are very self satisfied & egoistic.</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: #ff6633"><FONT face="Arial Narrow">Does your name begin with: B<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Arial Narrow">You give off vibes of lazy sensuality. You enjoy being romanced, wined, and dined. You are very happy to receive gifts as an expression of the affection of your lover. You want to be pampered and know how to pamper your mate. You are private in your expression of endearments, and particular when it comes to love. You will hold off until everything meets with your approval. You can control your appetite & feelings. You require new sensations and experiences. You are willing to experiment. <o:p></o:p></FONT></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: #6699cc"><FONT face="Arial Narrow">Does your name begin with: C<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Arial Narrow">You are a very social individual, and it is important to you to have a relationship. You require closeness and togetherness. You want the object of your affection to be socially acceptable and good-looking. You see your lover as a friend and companion. You are very sensual, needing someone to appreciate and almost worship you. When this cannot be achieved, you have the ability to hold out on affection until you receive this. You are an expert at controlling your desires and doing without. <BR style="mso-special-character: line-break"><BR style="mso-special-character: line-break"><o:p></o:p></FONT></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: #ff9900"><FONT face="Arial Narrow">Does your name begin with: D<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Arial Narrow"><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua">Once you get it into your head that you want someone, you move full Steam ahead in your suit. You do not give up your quest easily. You are nurturing and caring. If someone has a problem, this turns you on. You are highly passionate, loyal, and intense in your involvements, sometimes possessive and jealous. You are very sharp & talented often with sense of humour. When people bother to look deep inside they cannot resist what they see. You are stimulated by the eccentric and unusual, having a free and open attitude. You get jealous of other people and lose your temper . </SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p><FONT face="Arial Narrow" size=3> </FONT></o:p></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: #cc6699"><FONT face="Arial Narrow">Does your name begin with: E<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Arial Narrow">Your greatest need is to talk. If your date is not a good listener, you have trouble relating. A person must be intellectually stimulating or you are not interested sexually. You need a friend for a lover and a companion. You hate disharmony and disruption, but you do enjoy a good argument once in a while-it seems to stir things up. You flirt a lot, for the challenge is more important. But once you give your heart away, you are uncompromisingly loyal. You will fall asleep with a good book. sometimes, in fact, you prefer a good book to a lover).<o:p></o:p></FONT></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"></SPAN><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: #cccc33"><FONT face="Arial Narrow">Does your name begin with: F<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Arial Narrow"><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua">You are idealistic and romantic, putting your lover on a pedestal. You look for the very best mate you can find . You are a flirt, yet once committed, you are very loyal. You are sensuous and privately passionate. Publicly, you can be showy, extravagant, and gallant. You are a born romantic. Dramatic love scenes are a favourite fantasy past time. You can be a very generous lover.</SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p><FONT face="Arial Narrow" size=3> </FONT></o:p></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: #ff6600"><FONT face="Arial Narrow">Does your name begin with: G</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: #ff6600; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><FONT size=3> <o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Arial Narrow">You are fastidious, seeking perfection within yourself and your lover. You respond to a lover who is your intellectual equal or superior, and one who can enhance your status. You are sensuous and know how to reach the peak of stimulation, because you work at it meticulously. You can be extremely active-never tiring out. Your duties and responsibilities take precedence over everything else. You may have difficulty getting emotionally close to people.<o:p></o:p></FONT></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Arial Narrow"><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: lime; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><FONT face="Arial Narrow"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: lime">Does your name begin with: H</SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: lime; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Arial Narrow">You seek a mate who can enhance your zest for life, fun & everything you seek for. You will be very generous to your lover once you have attained a commitment. You are very affectionate & very strong. Your gifts are actually an investment in your partner. Before the commitment, though, you tend to be very careful with your every move and equally cautious in your involvement's often as you believe that you have to look out for yourself. You are a sensual and patient lover. You will hold off till everything meets your full approval. You are a perfectionist, hard to satisfy and strong in your beliefs. Not influential, you always stand your ground. People can always count on you to stand by them in a crisis. You are a dreamer with/ a passion for life. <o:p></o:p></FONT></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><BR><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: #ff66ff"><FONT face="Arial Narrow">Does your name begin with: I<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><FONT size=3><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua"><FONT face="Arial Narrow">You have a great need to be loved, appreciated... even worshiped. You enjoy luxury, sensuality, and pleasures of the flesh. You like necking spend hours just touching feeling & exploring. You look for lovers who know what they are doing. You are not interested in an amateur, unless that amateur wants a tutor. You are fussy and exacting about having your desires satisfied. You are willing to experiment and try new modes of expression. You bore easily and thus require adventure and change. Your commitments don't last very long & you often tend to stray. Loyalty is not one of your strong points. You are more sensual than sexual, but you are sometimes downright lustful.</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: red"><FONT face="Arial Narrow">Does your name begin with: J<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><FONT size=3><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua"><FONT face="Arial Narrow">You are blessed with a great deal of physical energy. When used for a good cause there is nothing to stop you, except maybe that they aren't always used for the good. (you could dance all night.) You respond to the thrill of the chase and the challenge of the mating game. You can carry on great romances in your head. At heart you are a roamer and need to set out on your own every so often. You will carry on long- distance relationships with ease. You are idealistic and need to believe in love. You have a need to be nurtured deep within.</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: #cc6699"><FONT face="Arial Narrow">Does your name begin with: K<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Arial Narrow">You are secretive, self-contained, and shy. You are very sexy, sensual, and passionate, but you do not let on to this. Only in intimate privacy will this part of your nature reveal itself. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are an expert. You know all the little tricks of the trade, can play any role or any game, and take your love life very seriously. You don't fool around. You have the patience to wait for the right person to come along. You are very generous & giving, often selfless. You are kind-natured & sweet, which is found to be attractive by many. You are a good friend. <o:p></o:p></FONT></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><BR><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: #ff6699"><FONT face="Arial Narrow">Does your name begin with: L<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><FONT size=3><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua"><FONT face="Arial Narrow">You can be very romantic, attached to the glamour of love. Having a partner is of paramount importance to you. You are free in your expression of love and are willing to take chances, try new sexual experiences and partners, provided it's all in good taste. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is intellectually stimulating, otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated. You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated.</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><o:p><FONT size=3> </FONT></o:p></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: #ccccff"><FONT face="Arial Narrow">Does your name begin with: M<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><FONT size=3><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua"><FONT face="Arial Narrow">You may appear innocent, unassuming and shy; but we know that Appearances can lie. When it comes to sex, you are no novice but something of a skilled technician. You can easily go to extremes, though, running the gamut from insatiability to boredom with the whole idea of love. You can be highly critical of you mate, seeking perfection in both of you. It is not easy to find someone who can meet your standards. You have difficulty expressing emotions and drawing close to lovers. You are often selfish, thinking you are always right no matter what. You never give in. Winning is your prime desire- at any cost. You often forget friends and family and you live for the moment.</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: yellow"><FONT face="Arial Narrow">Does your name begin with: N<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><FONT size=3><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua"><FONT face="Arial Narrow">You are emotional and intense. When involved in a relationship, you throw your entire being into it. Nothing stops you; there are no holds barred. You are all-consuming and crave someone who is equally passionate and intense. You believe in total freedom. You are willing to try anything and everything. Your supply of energy is inexhaustible. You want to be pampered and know how to pamper your mate. You also enjoy mothering your mate. You often have the greatest love affairs all by yourself, in your head. You are very imaginative.</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: #cc99ff"><FONT face="Arial Narrow">Does your name begin with: O<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><FONT size=3><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua"><FONT face="Arial Narrow">You are very interested in fun activities yet secretive and shy about your desires. You can re-channel much of your energy into making money and/or seeking we. You can easily have extended periods of celibacy. You are a passionate, compassionate lover, requiring the same qualities from your mate. Love is serious business; thus you demand intensity, diversity and is willing to try anything or anyone. Sometimes your passions turn to possessiveness, which must be kept in check.</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: #cc9966"><FONT face="Arial Narrow">Does your name begin with: P<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><FONT size=3><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua"><FONT face="Arial Narrow">You are very conscious of social proprieties. You wouldn't think of doing anything that might harm your image or Reputation. Appearances count. Therefore, you require a good-looking partner. You also require an intelligent partner. Oddly enough, you may view your partner as your enemy...a good fight stimulates those vibes. You are relatively free of hang- ups. You are willing to experiment and try new ways of doing things. You are very social and sensual; you enjoy flirting and need a good deal of physical gratification.</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: #6666cc"><FONT face="Arial Narrow">Does your name begin with: Q<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Arial Narrow">You require constant activity and stimulation. You have tremendous physical energy. It is not easy for a partner to keep up with you. You are an enthusiastic lover and tend to be attracted to people because of their ethnic groups. You need romance, hearts and flowers, and conversation to turn you on and keep you going. <o:p></o:p></FONT></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: #999966"><FONT face="Arial Narrow">Does your name begin with: R<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><FONT size=3><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua"><FONT face="Arial Narrow">You are a no-nonsense, action-oriented individual. You need someone who can keep pace with you and who is your intellectual equal-the smarter the better. You are turned on more quickly by a great mind than by a great body. However, physical attractiveness is not very important to you. You have to be proved to be worthy for a partner. You have a need to prove yourself the best . You want feedback on your performance. You are open, stimulating & romantic.</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: #9933cc"><FONT face="Arial Narrow">Does your name begin with: S<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><FONT size=3><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua"><FONT face="Arial Narrow">For you, it is pleasure before business. You can be romantically idealistic to a fault and is capable of much sensuality. But you never loose control of your emotions. Once you make the commitment you stick like glue. You could get jealous and possessive. You tend to be very selfish often regarding yourself as the only human being on the planet. You like being the centre of attention. You are very caring sensitive, private & sometimes very passive, turned on by soft lights, romantic thoughts. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are an expert. You know all the little tricks of the trade, can play any role, or any game, and take your love life very seriously. You don't fool around. You have the patience to wait for the right person to come along. You are very generous & giving, often selfless. You are kind nature & sweet which is found to be attractive by many. You are a good friend.</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: #cc9966"><FONT face="Arial Narrow">Does your name begin with: T<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><FONT size=3><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua"><FONT face="Arial Narrow">You are very sensitive, private & sometimes very passive. You like someone who takes the lead. You get turned on by music, soft lights & romantic thoughts. You fantasize & tend to fall in & out of love soon. When in love you are romantic, idealistic and extremely mushy. You enjoy having your senses & your feelings stimulated, titillated & teased. You are a great flirt. You can make your relationships fit your dreams, all in your own head. Once you put your mind to something you manage to stand by it and see your dreams through. You aren't very good at expressing your feelings. You l! ike things your own way. You do not like change, you like to hold on to things. This may not always be good because if given an opportunity things may develop into great things. You work your way to the top. Attention must be given to what others say because even though you don't want to hear it their advice may turn out to save your life!</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><o:p><FONT size=3> </FONT></o:p></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: #ff0033"><FONT face="Arial Narrow">Does your name begin with: U<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua"><FONT face="Arial Narrow"><FONT size=3>You are enthusiastic & at your happiest when in love. When not in love you're in love with love and always looking for someone to adore. You see romance as challenge. You are a roamer & needs adventure, excitement freedom. You enjoy giving gifts & looking good. You are willing to put others feelings above yours.<o:p></o:p></FONT></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><o:p><FONT size=3> </FONT></o:p></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: #ffcc66"><FONT face="Arial Narrow">Does your name begin with: V<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Arial Narrow"><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua">You are individualistic & you need freedom, space & excitement. You wait till you know someone well before committing yourself. Knowing someone means psyching her/him out. You feel a need to get into his/her head to see what makes him tick. You are attracted to eccentric types. You believe that age is no barrier. You are good at responding to danger, fear & suspense.</SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"></SPAN><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: #ffff33"><FONT face="Arial Narrow">Does your name begin with: W<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Arial Narrow">You are very proud, determined & refuses to take no for an answer when it come to love. Your ego is at stake all the time. You are romantic, idealistic, often in love with love itself, not seeing your partner for who she or he really is. You feel deeply about love & tends to throw all of your self into a relationship. Nothing is too good for your lover. You like playing love games. <o:p></o:p></FONT></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: red"><FONT face="Arial Narrow">Does your name begin with: X<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Arial Narrow"><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua">You need constant stimulation because you get bored quickly. You can handle more than 1 relationship at a time with ease. You can't shut off your mind. You can do 2 things at once. You are very talented.</SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"></SPAN><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: #9c96bc"><FONT face="Arial Narrow">Does your name begin with: Y<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><FONT size=3><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua"><FONT face="Arial Narrow">You are sensual & very independent. If you can't have it your way, you will forget the whole thing. You want to control your relationships which doesn't work out too well. You respond to physical stimulation. However<SPAN class=806035406-05092007>,</SPAN> if you can make money you will give up the pleasures of the flesh for the moment. You have a need to prove yourself the best. You want feedback on your performance. You are open, stimulating & romantic.</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><BR style="mso-special-character: line-break"><BR style="mso-special-character: line-break"><FONT size=3></FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: #4de592; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt"><FONT face="Arial Narrow">Does your name begin with: </FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #4de592; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'"> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: #4de592; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt"><FONT face="Arial Narrow">Z</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #4de592; FONT-FAMILY: 'Trebuchet MS'"> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><FONT size=3><FONT face="Arial Narrow"><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua">You are very interested in fun activities yet secretive and shy about your desires. You feel deeply about love and tend to throw all of your self into a relationship. Nothing is too good for your lover. You enjoy luxury, sensuality, and pleasures of the flesh. You like necking spend hours just touching feeling & exploring. You need romance, hearts and flowers, and conversation to turn you on and keep you going. You are willing to experiment. </SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: aqua; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN style="COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 'Century Schoolbook'"><o:p><FONT face="Arial Narrow" size=3> </FONT></o:p></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><o:p><FONT face="Arial Narrow" size=3> </FONT></o:p></P></SPAN></FONT></DIV>Ichienahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02816554565275725302noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35287700.post-18955018070886030452007-08-31T12:38:00.001+03:002007-08-31T12:38:59.447+03:00Loosing myself....<DIV><SPAN class=204222109-31082007><FONT face=Arial size=2>I need an organiser. I need time out. I need to breath!! </FONT></SPAN></DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=204222109-31082007><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT></SPAN> </DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=204222109-31082007><FONT face=Arial size=2>I feel overworked. Overwhelmed. </FONT></SPAN></DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=204222109-31082007><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT></SPAN> </DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=204222109-31082007><FONT face=Arial size=2>I had to cancel three appointments last evening (yes, I somehow thought I could fit in 3 appointments in one evening) because I ended up working really late. So one appointment is set for today lunch (meaning no lunch for me), the other for today evening (meaning my Free-Friday's shot to hell) and the other one is postponed to infinity (meaning I have to create time one day soon to make up for it). Bloody hell, when did I get this busy?</FONT></SPAN></DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=204222109-31082007><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT></SPAN> </DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=204222109-31082007><FONT face=Arial size=2>And what should/can I do to stop it?</FONT></SPAN></DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=204222109-31082007><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT></SPAN> </DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=204222109-31082007><FONT face=Arial size=2>I was texting a pal trying to get organised for tomorrow then I realised my schedule is something akin to the following: early morning dash to the salon to get the Thing-That-Once-Was-Hair in some semblance of order and if I am to beat the rush I have to get in early, say 8, 830ish. Meaning getting up one hour earlier. This on a Sato morning. Then mad dash back to the opposite side of town - Westlands - to get my utility bills sorted because next weekend I am.....yep, out of town again - otherwise I will be boiling eggs using the sun. Then meet landlord to sort out my rent. Dash back home to change and get - try getting - all prim and pretty. Print our agenda for meeting (reminder: buy ink cartridge some time before this) and back to town for a meeting at 2pm. Hopefully done by 3pm latest. Dash out whether or not we are done for a wedding somewhere in ngong (hence the primming up) where I am - yes, an usher. A very late one but an usher nonetheless. So, I will be on my feet half the time and all the way till evening. Where again I cannot disappear from the evening do because I was missing from the bridal shower which I'd helped organise because I was in Mara. Almost got eaten alive for that. Hopefully I will be able to get away at a godly hour. Sunday morning expecting a client at 9ish, fundi at 10ish and since I've been out of town, laundry must get done lest I am forced to show up in the office in my knickers (twould do the old geezers at the office some good but not a good idea in this weather). And I have not shopped for so long I borrowed salt from my neighbour this week! So major shopping needs to be worked in there somewhere. Then clande has been on my case recently and after three rainchecks, dude's getting impatient. I can bet I will get a call this Sunday. Now, considering that I need to get kissed before the week is out, I somehow need to fit him in somewhere - I am thinking Sunday afte (reminder: check if I need to shower). </FONT></SPAN></DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=204222109-31082007><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT></SPAN> </DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=204222109-31082007><FONT face=Arial size=2>So! Where does that leave space for quiet relaxation??? </FONT></SPAN><SPAN class=204222109-31082007><FONT face=Arial size=2>And to think I am single. What happens when people get hitched and babies come along?</FONT></SPAN></DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=204222109-31082007><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT></SPAN> </DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=204222109-31082007><FONT face=Arial size=2>Phew. I needed that. Maybe if it's down in writting then it will be possible to get it all done. </FONT></SPAN></DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=204222109-31082007><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT></SPAN> </DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=204222109-31082007><FONT face=Arial size=2>Fat chance. </FONT></SPAN></DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=204222109-31082007><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT></SPAN> </DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=204222109-31082007><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT></SPAN> </DIV>Ichienahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02816554565275725302noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35287700.post-46752332068138144242007-08-28T10:18:00.001+03:002007-08-28T10:18:29.113+03:00I came clean...<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=592044606-28082007>Yes I did. I figured it would haunt me for a while if I lied about taking Friday off so I came clean....sort of. And I am glad for it. Because Mara kicked. Plain and simple. And despite the fact that I was in recluse-mode; that's when I do not have the heart to really socialise or make new pals so I have this aloof air all around me. I love to do that sometimes because it allows me to just be. Me, myself, my thoughts and nature. Very calming. </SPAN></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=592044606-28082007></SPAN></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=592044606-28082007>But this post aint about Mara - that's one I want to do with pics and all, and I still haven't figured out how to post pics via email. I know, I have so many other posts pending - like Rhino Charge! - I think I am throwing in the towel on those and starting afresh. Clean slate and all. </SPAN></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=592044606-28082007></SPAN></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=592044606-28082007>This post is about a discussion I had over the weekend that really boggled my mind. It's about a couple that got married about three years ago - that aint new. It's about a couple that decided to wait till they got married to get intimate - that's not new too. It's about a couple that shared their first, their very first, very very first real kiss at the alter. Now, that knocked me down! What??? Why???</SPAN></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=592044606-28082007></SPAN></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=592044606-28082007>Am I overreacting here? I will be the first to confess, and I think I have admitted this before - I enjoy kissing. I adore it. Hell, I think I'd trade an arm for a toe tingling, shivers-down-me-spine, heart thumping, stomach clenching kiss if it was the last thing I'd do before I die. And the mystery of that first kiss? The unknown qualities? Like will he kiss softly, tenderly, like a butterfly. Or a quick peck. Or has he watched too many soaps and will go at it like he's drilling for oil down my throat? Will he tantalise, tease, make me wait almost in agony for that first touch or will he swoop in like a thirsty man for water? Will he cup my face in his hands, tilt my face up, or will he trail his fingers down my spine like Yanni composing another aria. Will he be silent, or will he groan, moan or whisper? Whisper my name? Will he lick my lip, or nibble my lower lip? Yumm yum. I am getting kissed before this week is out! </SPAN></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=592044606-28082007></SPAN></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=592044606-28082007>Anyway, like I was saying....er....yes! To wait to have all those questions answered in the presence of a crowd consisting my parents and his!!! </SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=592044606-28082007>I cannot for the life in me imagine being in a relationship or liking someone or being attracted to someone and never sneaking one minute of heaven! More so because having been there and done that, I know for a fact that there's some out there that almost made me swear off the habit for life! </SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=592044606-28082007>So, why would I wait till after I am tied down for life, literally, to find out if its a sneak peak of heaven or a quick ticket to celibacy. Would you?</SPAN></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=592044606-28082007></SPAN></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=592044606-28082007> <HR> </SPAN></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=592044606-28082007></SPAN></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial color=#00ff00 size=2><SPAN class=592044606-28082007>Disclaimer: No offence or tribalism intended here! The joke's too funny though....</SPAN></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial color=#00ff00 size=2><SPAN class=592044606-28082007></SPAN></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=592044606-28082007> <DIV class=OutlookMessageHeader lang=en-us dir=ltr align=left><FONT face=Arial color=#00ff00 size=2>Three women worked in the same office with the same female boss. Each day, the boss left work early. One day, the women decided that when the boss left they would leave too. After all, she never called or came back to work, so how would she know they went home early? <BR><BR>The kikuyu was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening, had some playtime with her son, and went to bed early. <BR><BR>The jang'o was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the spa before meeting a dinner date. <BR><BR>The kao was happy to get home early and surprise her husband. But when she got home, she heard a muffled noise coming from inside her bedroom. Slowly and quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with her boss! Gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house. <BR></FONT></DIV> <DIV class=OutlookMessageHeader lang=en-us dir=ltr align=left><FONT face=Arial color=#00ff00 size=2>The next day, at their coffee break, the kiuk and jeng said they planned to leave early again, and<SPAN class=373133106-28082007> </SPAN>they asked the kao if she was going to go with them.<BR><SPAN class=373133106-28082007> </SPAN><BR>"No way," she said. "I almost got caught yesterday!" </FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial color=#00ff00 size=2></FONT> </DIV></SPAN></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=592044606-28082007></SPAN></FONT> </DIV>Ichienahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02816554565275725302noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35287700.post-16508900739738227412007-08-20T11:23:00.000+03:002007-08-20T11:24:38.356+03:00How do I skive?<DIV><SPAN class=228375807-20082007></SPAN><FONT size=2><FONT face=Arial>I need to disappear this Friday. I am not sure whether I can ask for the day off<SPAN class=228375807-20082007>. I am</SPAN> actually <SPAN class=228375807-20082007>sure </SPAN>there's a 95% chance I will be turned down <SPAN class=228375807-20082007>.</SPAN></FONT></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial><FONT size=2><SPAN class=228375807-20082007>Why? </SPAN><SPAN class=228375807-20082007>B</SPAN>ecause I am practically in charge of an entire department right now. Mhmm, come to think of it, I am in charge of one half of the office. <SPAN class=228375807-20082007>Have been since the start of this month with the mdosi off galavanting overseas for his annual leave. It's hard work. It's also uplifting to know I can be entrusted with this level of responsibility. </SPAN></FONT></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=228375807-20082007></SPAN></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=228375807-20082007>Then it's tiring. I need a break. Ergo (always wanted to use/ misuse that word since The Matrix!) the need to skive. I want to go to Mara this weekend. For the Wild Beeste migration. Only thing is the group leaves town on Friday morning. I am expected in the office on Friday. So far I haven't scheduled any meeting for Friday and I do not intend to for obvious reasons.</SPAN></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=228375807-20082007></SPAN></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=228375807-20082007>Only thing is how to get out of coming to the office. I find it hard to lie. Half an hour lie I can hack - full day on a Friday is another story. What excuse should I cook up? There's no way to say I am going on a holiday (much as I really need it).</SPAN></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=228375807-20082007></SPAN></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT size=2> <HR> </FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2><SPAN class=228375807-20082007>This is a priceless snap of my feet this past Saturday. I walk into a pals house - remove my shoes and putter all over the place only to realise hours later I had on mismatched socks!!! I thought mismatching socks was a domain left to men? This is proof of my current frame of mind, hence the need to take a break. It is also a test to see if I can post photos on posts done via email.</SPAN></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT><BR></DIV> <TABLE width=620 border=0> <TBODY> <TR> <TD width=634> <P align=center><IMG src="cid:228375807@20082007-15B5" border=0> <BR></P></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE><SPAN class=375080107-07082007><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2> <HR> </FONT></DIV> <DIV> <P><FONT face=Arial color=#00ff00 size=2>An old man and his wife were sitting in bed watching a T.V. evangelist and the evangelist said, "To those of you at home watching if you have any part of your body that causes you discomfort then place one hand on the T.V. and the other on that part of your body" </FONT></P> <P><FONT face=Arial color=#00ff00 size=2></FONT></P> <P><FONT face=Arial color=#00ff00 size=2>Well the old woman had been having some troubles with her stomach. So she placed one hand on the T.V and the other on her stomach. She looked at her husband and he had one hand on the T.V and the other down his pants.</FONT></P> <P><FONT size=2><FONT face=Arial><FONT color=#00ff00>She looked at him and said: "My dear he's healing the sick, not raising the dead!"</FONT> </FONT></FONT></P></DIV></SPAN><BR> <DIV> </DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT>Ichienahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02816554565275725302noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35287700.post-27511414464661370022007-08-13T18:29:00.000+03:002007-08-13T18:58:26.232+03:00Happy Birthday....These are the vagrancies of blogging via email. This blog should have appeared last weekend! On Sato in particular!<br /><br />Oh well, Happy Belated Birthday <a href="http://kadhat.blogspot.com/">Baba Boi </a>- you are the greatest. I am sure you had a good one. And it's lovely to have you back home. <br /><br />Oh, and many many thanks for my new baby! I will take care of her with all the tenderness and love in me...heheheheIchienahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02816554565275725302noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35287700.post-5073939580882555192007-07-31T10:57:00.000+03:002007-07-31T11:01:52.222+03:00Home Videos<DIV><FONT face=Arial><SPAN class=885381607-31072007>I got this email containing very private home photos of a student at one of the Kenyan Universities in the throes of seducing and posing her "man". The story doing the rounds is apparently that the man in question was jilted and in an act of vengeance, he's decided to humiliate her (what else could it be) by sharing those photos with all and sundry. Basically they are on the web that catches everything, spreads it like a bush fire and never forgets. </SPAN></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial><SPAN class=885381607-31072007></SPAN></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial><SPAN class=885381607-31072007>My first thought was, "This could have been my sister/daughter/cousin/friend!". I guess that's why I immediately deleted them from my inbox and trashbin - I do not want to be part of the chain that's gleefully spreading someone's pain. So, sorry, do not send in requests for forwards tafadhali.</SPAN></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial><SPAN class=885381607-31072007></SPAN></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial><SPAN class=885381607-31072007>Second was, "What the heck was she thinking!!!". Then it hit me, oh yeah. She was in love. What the <A href="mailto:F#$%#$%@%!@$#!$#@$!$#$K"><FONT color=#000000>F</FONT><A href="mailto:F#$%#$%@%!@$#!$#@$!$#$"><FONT color=#000000>#$%#$%@%!@$#!$#@$!$#$</FONT></A><FONT color=#000000>K</FONT></A>!!! </SPAN></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial><SPAN class=885381607-31072007></SPAN></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial><SPAN class=885381607-31072007>Third was, "She waxes."</SPAN></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial><SPAN class=885381607-31072007></SPAN></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial><SPAN class=885381607-31072007>Seriously though, when did it become the "in thing" to allow photos as such taken of you. All while you are presumably sober. By someone who you are not married to. Aarrghh! I shudder to think that perhaps he's even shared them in the past with The Boyz but back then it was the Boyz's dirty secret. There's already enough porn in this world to keep him well occupied anyway; why add to his stash. Just how many others have been photographed before? He could easily be sending the snaps to porn sites. It boggles the mind. </SPAN></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial><SPAN class=885381607-31072007></SPAN></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial><SPAN class=885381607-31072007>And when did it become the accepted and manly to humiliate someone you once loved. Honestly methinks it is simply a demonstration of how immature the dude is. I really tried to think of what could have driven him to such extremes and I honestly fail to understand. So he was heartbroken. Bah humbug! Billions of hearts (and pride) have been broken before - and they have proven that they mend. I mean, isn't that the whole point of relationships? That you go in not knowing whether it will really last; that uncertainty is what adds the flavour. So shouldn't you be ready for heart break? </SPAN></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial><SPAN class=885381607-31072007></SPAN></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial><SPAN class=885381607-31072007>I dont know what to make of this situation. I cannot help but feel sorry for the student - it must be the lowest point of her life. </SPAN></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial><SPAN class=885381607-31072007></SPAN></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial><SPAN class=885381607-31072007>I think I am either a prude or old. I understand carefree sexy posing - hell, I revel in it. But you unleash a camera and the next course of action will be, "To Bobbit or not to Bobbit, that is the question".</SPAN></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial><SPAN class=885381607-31072007> <HR> </SPAN></FONT></DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=885381607-31072007><FONT face=Arial color=#ffff00>It's been ages since I even shared a joke...and I have plenty. But today it will be a lesson in history. Yep. Giving The Bird 101.</FONT></SPAN></DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=885381607-31072007><FONT face=Arial color=#ffff00 size=2></FONT></SPAN> </DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=885381607-31072007> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify; mso-layout-grid-align: none"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Courier New'"><FONT face="Arial Narrow"><FONT color=#ffff00>The History of the Middle Finger<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></FONT></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify; mso-layout-grid-align: none"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Courier New'"><FONT face="Arial Narrow"><FONT color=#ffff00><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><o:p></o:p></FONT></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify; mso-layout-grid-align: none"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Courier New'"><FONT face="Arial Narrow"><FONT color=#ffff00>Well, now......here's something I never knew before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to send it on to my more intelligent friends in the hope that they, too, will feel edified. Isn't history more fun when you know something about it?<o:p></o:p></FONT></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify; mso-layout-grid-align: none"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Courier New'"><FONT face="Arial Narrow"><FONT color=#ffff00><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><o:p></o:p></FONT></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify; mso-layout-grid-align: none"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Courier New'"><FONT face="Arial Narrow"><FONT color=#ffff00>Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers.<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future.<o:p></o:p></FONT></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify; mso-layout-grid-align: none"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Courier New'"><o:p><FONT face="Arial Narrow" color=#ffff00> </FONT></o:p></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify; mso-layout-grid-align: none"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Courier New'"><FONT face="Arial Narrow"><FONT color=#ffff00>This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew" (or <SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>pluck yew").<o:p></o:p></FONT></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify; mso-layout-grid-align: none"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Courier New'"><FONT face="Arial Narrow"><FONT color=#ffff00><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><o:p></o:p></FONT></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify; mso-layout-grid-align: none"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Courier New'"><FONT face="Arial Narrow"><FONT color=#ffff00>Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew!<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute!<SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN>It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird."<o:p></o:p></FONT></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify; mso-layout-grid-align: none"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Courier New'"><FONT face="Arial Narrow"><FONT color=#ffff00><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><o:p></o:p></FONT></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify; mso-layout-grid-align: none"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Courier New'"><FONT face="Arial Narrow"><FONT color=#ffff00>IT IS STILL AN APPROPRIATE SALUTE TO THE FRENCH TODAY!<o:p></o:p></FONT></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify; mso-layout-grid-align: none"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Courier New'"><FONT face="Arial Narrow"><FONT color=#ffff00><SPAN style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </SPAN><o:p></o:p></FONT></FONT></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: justify; mso-layout-grid-align: none"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Courier New'"><FONT face="Arial Narrow"><FONT color=#ffff00>And yew thought yew knew every plucking thing.<o:p></o:p></FONT></FONT></SPAN></P></SPAN></DIV>Ichienahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02816554565275725302noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35287700.post-13678793284052574712007-07-21T12:24:00.000+03:002007-07-21T12:51:17.216+03:00Yap, I liveI pinched myself today morning and realised I am still alive. And that a two months have gone by in the blink of an eye since i was last here. <br /><br />I should get back to normal life. I will, I will, I will, I shall, I shall, I shall.<br /><br />Modo dearest - I will get back to you on that tag soon. Promise.Ichienahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02816554565275725302noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35287700.post-50651250999560115292007-06-09T01:51:00.000+03:002007-06-09T08:46:53.675+03:00Happy Birthday....to meeeee....<br />Happy Birthday to meeeee.....<br />Happy Birthday to Ichiena! <br />Happy Birthday to meeeeeeeeeeeee!!!<br /><br /><center><EMBED src="http://img.123greetings.com/loaders/dynaloader_550x350.swf?ldrName=http://img.123greetings.com/eventsnew/birth_fun/1008-033_ldr.swf&crdName=http://img.123greetings.com/eventsnew/birth_fun/1008-033-01-1040.swf" quality=high width="550" height="350" bgcolor="" menu=false wmode=Transparent type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/shockwave/download/index.cgi?P1_Prod_Version=ShockwaveFlash"></embed><br/><a href="http://www.123greetings.com/birthday/birthday_fun/pals.html"></a></center><br/><br /><br />If there's someone who loves their birthday, it's me. Here's to wishing me another good year now that i have twenty-something years under my bulging belt. <br /><br />And yes, gifts are accepted (I'm shameless!Hihihi!), and I love all kinds. Best gift I ever received was a home-made coupon idea with stuff like, "I'll brush your shoes for a week", "I'll carry your bag to class twice", "Free movie of your choosing", "Full body massage", "A glorious kiss" and such. Dude sat down, wrote this on a fullscap and perforated the edges of each coupon using a pin. A PIN!! I still sigh when I think of it. Second on the list is the silliest package of a piece of thread, (To hold my clothes together (?)), Some gum, (to remain ever sweet), matchstick (to always stay warm). Yes, these kept me mushy I tell ya - but it is no excuse to send me a thong and a note ati "We are tight like a thong"! LOL!<br /><br />So last year the gifts kept coming even one month after d-day; let's see if this year will beat that one. In other words, just because I meet you on 12th June does not mean it's too late for my gift, haha!<br /><br />I am happy! Another year down. A good year too. Have met so many lovely people - outside and more so in blogland. And became thongish with some pals; yet lost some. But I am glad to have known all of them - and given them the opportunity to rub shoulders with me (hehehe!). Then it's been a year full of mingi escapades. Been globtrotting as always - Tranquil South Coast, Kissssumu, Kampala and Baringo. Thinking of doing North-Eastern next.<br /><br />OK, this was supposed to be a short short short post but wapi! So, finally Happy Birthday to me. Many many more to come God-willing. And it has kicked off on a good start with birthday wishes - two of them bloggers!! You know yourselves - thanks for making my night. You're sweethearts haki!<br /><br />Now, to two jokes that almost got me fired today:<br />1. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Reincarnation</span><br />Colin came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. "Who the hell are you?" demanded Colin, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?"<br /><br />The mysterious Man answered, "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter". Colin was stunned "You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be, I have so much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family....you've got to send me back straight away".<br /><br />St Peter replied "Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen." Colin was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen.<br /><br />A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground. "This ain't so bad" he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him. The farmyard rooster strolled over and said, "So you're the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?" "It's not so bad" replies Colin, "but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode".<br /><br />"You're ovulating" explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've never laid an egg before". "Never" replies Colin "Well just relax and let it happen"<br /><br />And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him...ever!!! The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting,<br /><br />"Colin, wake up you drunk bastard, you are shitting in the bed!!!"<br /><br /><br /><br />2. <span style="font-weight:bold;">Who's Smarter Now!</span><br />Kenyatta, Moi & Kibaki were lost in the forest and were captured by cannibals.The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.<br /><br />Kenyatta came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to shove the 10 fruits up your butt without any expression on your face or you will be eaten.''<br /> <br />The first apple went in.... but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed.<br /><br />Moi arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him, he thought to himself that this should be easy.1...2...3...4...5...6...7....8...9 but on the tenth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed..<br /><br />Kenyatta and Moi met in heaven and Kenyatta asked Moi, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?"<br /> <br />Moi replied, "I couldn't help it. I saw Kibaki coming with pineapples ".Ichienahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02816554565275725302noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35287700.post-35954738502171428602007-05-28T22:24:00.000+03:002007-05-29T00:08:46.235+03:00Tagged again....So <a href="http://mochalicious.wordpress.com/">Mocha</a> in all her wisdom decided to tag me. I didn’t do a podcast but came close. Be warned though. Feel free to watch subject to the following disclaimers:<br /><br />- You may be traumatized by the sight of certain body parts.<br />- Any reference to my accent (or lack thereof, LOL) and you are dead to me!<br />- It is incomplete – I ran out of memory (phone and my brain). <br />- For the avoidance of doubt, the resulting tagees are <a href="http://www.spideyfun.blogspot.com/">Spidey</a>, <a href="http://www.mwanamishale.wordpress.com/">Archer</a>, <a href="http://wanjakihii.blogspot.com/index.html">Wanja Kihii</a>, <a href="http://unycjollity.blogspot.com/">Unyc</a>, <a href="http://milonare.blogspot.com/">Milo</a> and <a href="http://bantuts.blogspot.com/">Bants</a>. And I wanted to throw in a wild card who’s quite the interesting chap and that’s you <a href="http://">Kirima</a>. A podcast on 5 reasons why you blog my dears.<br /><br /><object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/D20C0tmDqaA"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/D20C0tmDqaA" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="350"></embed></object><br /><br />Otherwise, I was home over the weekend – home is where my parents are at, in Ngong that is. Nice. Pretty nice. And I got this pic – true Kenyanism, don’t you think?<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3As9SabbRqQrM_HhYCefkZMSl-MsWzwc8aDejPveI0BM-Wcj302k_BNeMgcKlSvl79W3BGXJDVSvIdOypfKu0yP6vsvLOxRZbmrmNTWqH9jMMcyhPLwtg63EAFALyFhvH-7lZbw/s1600-h/no+dumping.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3As9SabbRqQrM_HhYCefkZMSl-MsWzwc8aDejPveI0BM-Wcj302k_BNeMgcKlSvl79W3BGXJDVSvIdOypfKu0yP6vsvLOxRZbmrmNTWqH9jMMcyhPLwtg63EAFALyFhvH-7lZbw/s400/no+dumping.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5069707966869805426" /></a><br /><br />Home was quite the change from the noisy hustle and bustle of Nairobi life – so peaceful and you actually wake up to the sound of chirping birds and bleating goats. Then I strongly suspect I put on some weight. What is it with mothers and their crusade to feed their kids to explosion. And it’s not just your mother or mine, but all mothers. Actually, most women over 50 seem to be on the same wavelength. They were all ultrathin during their time and now they are trying to fatten us! Anyway, if you think people who are overweight have a problem, then you need to talk to those who never seem to put on weight. There’s nothing as annoying as always being treated like an invalid simply because you are not of the “desired weight” which if my female relatives had their way I’d be 70Kgs and/or over (I’m picturing a honeymoon gone bad after Mr. Ichiena breaks his back carrying me). Never you mind that I am not emaciated or teetering on verge of collapse; or that this has been my constant weight for some years now; or that no doctor has ever raised any concern over my weight. I love my body as is but once in a while I get doubtful due to external criticism. And these can make or break up a person. Really. Having grown up surrounded by beautiful siblings who were constantly being praised by everyone around, I grew up without any confidence in my physical self; the single-minded belief that I was ugly. It seemed to me that whenever anyone commented on my body it was to make fun of my gangly frame (and I was) or criticize my unfeminine self – anything but rarely positive. The positive praise was my brain. I figured that’s why I fared ok in school – I had something to prove, you know. <br /><br />I eventually grew out of the low self esteem. Sometimes I wonder whether that was the reason for my <a href="http://ichiena.blogspot.com/2007/05/ss.html">number 7</a> (Which raised surprising theories to which the answer, for the record, is no. I love Dick too much). Anyway, the growing pains were an important lesson – unless you have constructive criticism, don’t. <br /><br />And before I forget, for those clamoring for UG pics, bad news. I rely on a ten year old hand-me-down camera from dad and half my roll got burnt. Yes, I am over it. Nevertheless, long post coming up (dear-Lord-help-me). Good thing is that there are photos on <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/justjoj">this link</a>. Let's see who amongst you can figure out who I am. Spot Ichiena and there may be a prize in it! Of course if you know what I look like, you are automatically disqualified - unless you are misleading the rest...hehehe. <br /><br />So, I got back to work today and I am still amazed that I have managed to do this post. I am dying in the office. Have heaps of files threatening to topple over and clients breathing fire. But good news - got a surprise pay rise!!! Not as good as I had hoped so I still hope to get it increased.<br /><br />And finally (wa! - a short post threatening to get long), looking forward to the holiday weekend. <a href="http://www.bunduz.com/index.html">Rhino Charge</a> here we come! What will you be up to?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Aaaand PHEW - WHY MEN'S PROBLEMS ARE RARELY PUBLISHED IN THE "DEAR AMANI COLUMN"!<br /><br />Dear Amani,<br /><br />I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision. <br /><br />I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs...phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot lately although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them." I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive. I hear a car driving off, as if she was dropped off round the corner. Maybe she wasn't in a taxi. I once picked her cell phone up just to see what time it was and she went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and to stop checking up on her. Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. Perhaps deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I made up my mind to really check on her. I decided I was going to park my motorcycle next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home.<br /><br />It was at that moment, crouching behind my bike, that I noticed that the valve covers on my engine seemed to be leaking a little oil. Do you think this is something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?<br /><br />Thanks,<br />Deeply Distressed Husband</span>Ichienahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02816554565275725302noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35287700.post-43836620984493937022007-05-24T14:47:00.000+03:002007-05-24T15:08:27.541+03:00UG rocks.Aaah, that feeling of having taken a good trip and having it all turn out superlicious. I had a lovely time in Kampala. Made so many new pals from UG as well as TZ and Ethiopia (Sorry gal, no cookies were delivered). And danced my heart out the entire time. It's amazing that an invisible line on the ground dividing two countries can make such a difference in cultures and society. Full post and pics coming up soon.<br /><br />So I return and what do I find? Another tag! And one of the tagors wants a podcast - I don't even know where to start....somebody help me? And pray do tell, this is the last of it.<br /><br />Anyway, right now I have received summons from Mama Ichiena who is spitting fire because I am on leave and i haven't gone to see her yet. Figured I get my bum there lest she convinces Baba Ichiena to disinherit me! <br /><br />Toodles!<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Beer contains female hormones </span><br />Last month, some University scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects: <br />1) Argued over nothing. <br />2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong. <br />3) Gained weight. <br />4) Talked excessively without making sense. <br />5) Became overly emotional. <br />6) Couldn't drive. <br />7) Failed to think rationally. <br />8) Had to sit down while urinating. <br />No further testing was considered necessary.Ichienahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02816554565275725302noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35287700.post-34293618306607384132007-05-15T09:23:00.000+03:002007-05-15T10:38:51.212+03:00SS....Useless Trivia: Just I was doing this post, I realised the initials SS apply in English (Seven Secrets) and Swahili (Siri Saba). Nice, hey?<br /><br /><a href="http://mountkirima.blogspot.com/2007/05/seven-hidden-habits-of-highly-effacing.html">A character </a> and <a href="http://unycjollity.blogspot.com/2007/05/now-that-i-have-been-tagged-by-several.html">another character </a>decided to tag me and have given me restless nights ever since. Yaani, my blog is about my life, drama in my life, me, me and more me (I am shameless). So what more could I possibly share that I already haven't in the past? So, here's some stuff that I have probably already shared before but don't remember...they will just have to do.<br /><br />1. I have lived in all the major towns in Kenya. Was born in Nairobi, have stayed in Embu, Nakuru, Kisii, Kisumu, Mombasa (both Mombasa Mainland and the Island), back to Nairobi, Ngong (which I hear is in Kajiado) and now back to Nairobi. At some point (during the angry teens) I figured my parents were crooks running away from the law, LOL! So when I hear people talking of having lived in the same home since childhood and having childhood pals, I don't get it. Because of this, my closest pals go back to campus days. Before that, I was flitting through life.<br /><br />2. I am kidogo obsessive. I can get strange obsessions like a period in my life where i used to count steps. Yep. I had this warped mentality that my legs should deal with steps equally so if I take a flight of eight steps, 4 must be taken with one leg, 4 with the other. If they are an odd number, then I will take three with one leg and next time I use them, I will take 3 with the other leg. I was pretty mad. But that passed.<br /><br />3. I have never flown and I don't know how to drive. I am old. Trust me, it still shocks even me that I have not bothered to learn. I did go through the phase some time back and did kidogo steering but then I stopped. I don't remember why. I guess it's because I don't really need it right now since I am a walking Kenyan and I remain comfortable that way.<br /><br />4. I am shortsighted. I used to wear glasses but one day I just put them down and never put them on again. I can be stubborn like that. So now I squint when looking at my toes and I easily pass people on the street because I cannot see them although I must admit I have also used this to my advantage by passing those that I DO know. A character is determined to get me wearing specs again, we will see how this goes.<br /><br />5. I like challenges but I easily get bored once it's done. The harder it is the better, and if I have to teach myself (my F1 key is the most worn out) even better. Hence the Rubiks Cube, 1000 plus puzzles, Programming (started blogging because of HTML), playing a flute, Sewing, Crossword, Sudoku and Salsa phase. Currently I am in a Swimming phase. <br /><br />6. I think my name is P. Ichiena i.e. Procrastination Ichiena. I am a procrastinator of the worst kind. I can wait until the very very very very very last moment to do this (like this post...I know if I don't do it now, it's gonna wait till next Monday so here I am!). I still wonder how I managed to get by in school - I used to start reading for exams in the last week! <br /><br />7. I have never been in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.<br /><br />Phew - I am done. This turned out to be rather hard. I want to share yet I am not sure what is sharing too much, or what is being vague. I had to sweat - oops...er...- perspire (:-)) this one out. And the hardest part, who to tag since the regulars all seem to have been tagged. Think I'll go with the hibernators: <a href="http://wanjakihii.blogspot.com">Wanja</a>, <a href="http://www.nichgich.blogspot.com/">Couch Potato</a>, <a href="http://flamesandashes.blogspot.com/">Don Q</a> </a>and <a href="http://sisbigbones.blogspot.com/">Sis Big bones</a>. <br /><br />So, now back to business. Kampala here I cooooome.....here's to a safe, fruitful and fun trip. Packing's all done - camera, check; discman (ipod? nini hiyo?), check; CDs, check; passport, check....cheers. Hope to get back within the week, so until then:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Welcome to the family?</span><br />My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.<br /><br />There was only one little thing bothering me. It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra less. One day "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. <br /><br />Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.<br /><br />She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me." I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. <br /><br />I opened the door and headed straight towards my car.<br /><br />Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me and said, "we are very happy that you have passed our little test.....we couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."<br /><br />If only they knew that I kept a box of condoms in my car....<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Scam Warning: Man to men</span><br />Many of you shop at Nakumatt and you need to be aware of a scam being perpetrated at various Nakumatt sites. I am posting this to you to warn you of something that happened to me, as I have become victim of a clever scam while out shopping. This happened to me at Nakumatt at the Junction and it could happen to you. Here's how the scam works:<br /><br />Two seriously good-looking 18-year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping in the boot. They both start wiping your windscreen with a rag and Windolene, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy t-shirts. It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to another Nakumatt . You agree and they get in the back seat. On the way, they start having sex with each other. Then one of them climbs over onto the front seat and performs oral sex on you, while the other one steals your wallet. <br /><br />I had my wallet stolen last Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, twice on Thursday, and also today. They also plot to rob me again tomorrow.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Pink Dress</span><br />A man and his wife were spending the day at the zoo. She was wearing a loose fitting, pink dress, sleeveless with straps. He was wearing his usual jeans and T-shirt. As they walked through the ape exhibit, they passed in front of a large, silverback gorilla. <br /><br />Noticing the wife, the gorilla went crazy. He jumped on the bars, and holding on with one hand and 2 feet he grunted and pounded his chest with his free hand. He was obviously excited at the pretty lady in the pink dress. <br /><br />The husband, noticing the excitement, thought this was funny. He suggested that his wife tease the poor fellow some more by puckering her lips and wiggling her bottom. She played along and the gorilla got even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead. Then the husband suggested that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin. <br /><br />She did. And the gorilla was about to tear the bars down. <br /><br />"Now. Show your thighs and sort of fan your dress at him," he said. This drove the gorilla absolutely crazy, and he started doing flips. <br /><br />Then the husband grabbed his wife, ripped open the door to the cage, flung her in with the gorilla, slammed the door shut and said; <br /><br />“Now tell him you have a headache." <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">And in view of this being an election year, I thought this was rather apt. Don't you?</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBcwFbZjy2LNwwcnPBlakWtPJWix6_YIXOwx-M0GPz41jRumbzNMQdz7m7IW55lLucvoTRGhyk7nhXT_ifPbY4mrw3Q_SD01Q5XNXXjqEgZ7Fcy3s7oBpwof7ubdVKqA1JK2-ofQ/s1600-h/Septic_Tank_Truck.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBcwFbZjy2LNwwcnPBlakWtPJWix6_YIXOwx-M0GPz41jRumbzNMQdz7m7IW55lLucvoTRGhyk7nhXT_ifPbY4mrw3Q_SD01Q5XNXXjqEgZ7Fcy3s7oBpwof7ubdVKqA1JK2-ofQ/s400/Septic_Tank_Truck.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5064492300936581714" /></a>Ichienahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02816554565275725302noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35287700.post-41939565559631288452007-05-09T20:49:00.000+03:002007-05-12T01:20:39.414+03:00Ichiena is from Mars AND Venus....<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbvFrdQjK0MHLLXpeEr5GmjDre3OSk5YIoRDxz-tlHYYhy91-8tygVd27D5042oKplf8xbUgdkloPcMvVKoqmCYxs66e8VutUOvancij5EKHheMGN0NR5E9Xz5WSJeQuPJ-_AcFA/s1600-h/untitled.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbvFrdQjK0MHLLXpeEr5GmjDre3OSk5YIoRDxz-tlHYYhy91-8tygVd27D5042oKplf8xbUgdkloPcMvVKoqmCYxs66e8VutUOvancij5EKHheMGN0NR5E9Xz5WSJeQuPJ-_AcFA/s400/untitled.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5063412361474773570" /></a><br /><br />First off (I need to stop this habit of numbering everything I do and no, that was not the first thing, that was an aside)...first off, that title is very unoriginal. I admit irreverently ripping off of a book by <a href="http://www.davebarry.com">Dave Barry</a>. Any readers out there? This dude cracks me up - his books are just the thing to chase boredom any time any day, especially when you come across the line, "I am not making this up" when he soooo is! Hilarious stuff.<br /><br />Now, back to the plot. The plot. I have been "writing" this post for 3/4 days so I have forgotten.<br /><br />Oooh! Yes. Ichiena is from Mars AND Venus. This post was inspired by a comment from a <a href="http://inexes.wordpress.com/">blogger</a> who wasn't sure what I am. And it got me thinking - am I more male or more female? You tell me:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Ichiena is from Mars:</span> I have no feeling for shopping. OK <a href="http://kadhat.blogspot.com/">you </a>can stop chuckling. I have no feeling for shopping for clad and I am mostly in jeans and a T - I can go for months on end without buying any new attire; half my wardrobe is from pals (sending a message perhaps?). I own a complete set of tools (a claw hammer, screwdriver set, pliers, the works), I love fixing small stuff around the house. I havent cooked a decent meal since I dont know when. I usually air <a href="http://ichiena.blogspot.com/2007/01/landscaping-decisions.html">bolingolette </a>- actually I dont like wearing clothes. I can shower and be out of the house in 15 minutes flat (fully clothed!). I have perfected the art of zoning out mid-conversation even if I grunt the occassional appropriate response. At one time I had 2 pairs of shoes. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Ichiena is from Venus:</span> I have no care for sports, any sports unless walking and dancing fall within sports. I keep my nails feminine long and manicured. I own over 20 pairs of stockings/tights/leggings. I have boobs and my back is not hairy. I am a sucker for Harlequin/Romance novels - it's called "getting-some-via-osmosis". I can yap with the best of them, though I am not Nollywood status.<br /><br />Other Useless Business (OUBs)<br />1. I was watching American Pie 4 (sucks) and heard <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dry_humping">this new word</a> which I just had to Wikipedia. Let's just say interesting reading and do read with caution.<br /><br />2. If you haven't watched <a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0486946/">Wild Hogs</a> please make a point for a good laugh. The skinny dipping. LOL!<br /><br />3. Thanks to <a href="http://whiteafrican.com/?p=541">White African</a>, I have learn that...er...my exploits (sic!) are now in a <a href="http://www.gwimgrafxstudios.com/">computer game</a>! <br /><br />4. The joke for today:<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">A ship sank in high seas and the following people got stranded on a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere: <br />A. 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman<br />B. 2 French men and 1 French woman<br />C. 2 German men and 1 German woman<br />D. 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman <br />E. 2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman<br />F. 2 Mexican men and 1 Mexican woman<br />G. 2 American men and 1 American woman<br />H. 2 Indian men and 1 Indian woman<br /><br />What a Crazy coincidence! One month later, on various parts of the island, the following was observed:<br />A. One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.<br />B. The two French men and the French woman are living happily together.<br />C. The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they spend time with the German woman.<br />D. The two Greek men are happy together, and the Greek woman is cooking & cleaning for them.<br />E. The two Polish men took a long look at the endless ocean and a long look at the Polish woman, and they started swimming. <br />F. The two Mexican men are talking to all the other men on the island trying to sell them the Mexican woman.<br />G. The two American men are contemplating suicide. The American woman is bitching about her body being her own, the true nature of feminism, the equal division of the household chores, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her much better, and how her relationship with her mother is improving. <br />H. What happened to the Indians????<br />The 2 Indian men are still waiting for someone to introduce them to the Indian woman</span><br /><br />Finally, it's Mother's Day this weekend. Someone sent me this and it penetrated the layers and touched me somewhere. Happy Mum's Day to all Mum's out there, including ma gal MGN - congrats on the latest addition to the family. We will soon come cooing appropriately.<br /><br />TO BE A MOTHER<br />We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of starting a family. "We're taking a survey," she says half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?" <br /> <br />"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral. "I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations." <br /> <br />But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable. <br /> <br />I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die. I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a soufflé; or her best crystal without a moment's hesitation. <br /> <br />I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for child-care, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right. I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that rest-room. <br /> <br />However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother. Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.. <br /> <br />I want her to know that a Caesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor. My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic. I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving. I hope she will understand why I can think rationally about most issues, but become temporarily insane when I discuss the threat of nuclear war to my children's future. I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts. <br /> <br />My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings. This blessed gift from God... that of being a Mother.Ichienahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02816554565275725302noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35287700.post-3778893136775562022007-05-06T16:15:00.000+03:002007-05-06T17:57:20.223+03:00ContentedAnd now I can confirm we are trully back. I've gotten up ready to get a kick out of life. The lips (the upper ones) are back to normal size lakini hard like a goat's hide. Any suggestions on how to get them back to kissable soft? Any volunteers to test them (mhmm, where is argh).<br /><br />But I am excited because:<br /><br />1. My sick pal is getting out of it. She walked a distance jana and smiled and cooked and...well, she's back.<br /><br />2. Spiderman 3<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDphQK1hg4_6Nq3vW-_4DayTm93-__MzqGT2KN_Xsq6ym267o3BVkwcFVl_jYwzBHk0ambqgImXAvWRi3xPE572hjiGSeMzstqnYOtrNyPMp1YdGuDBs-697IWOBCYBvduRmx50A/s1600-h/spidey+2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDphQK1hg4_6Nq3vW-_4DayTm93-__MzqGT2KN_Xsq6ym267o3BVkwcFVl_jYwzBHk0ambqgImXAvWRi3xPE572hjiGSeMzstqnYOtrNyPMp1YdGuDBs-697IWOBCYBvduRmx50A/s400/spidey+2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5061444416049680946" /></a><br /><br />If you havent watched this movie yet and still intend to - close this window. Close it now. You have been warned.<br /><br />I caught Spiderman 3 on premier night. I am a Spiderman lunatic - actually I am an action-figure movie junkie but I have been hooked on Spidey ever since that first upside down kiss (Mr. Ichiena-to-be had better have some upside-down moves up his sleeves). And it delivered. Mhmmmmm.<br />- Best line: <br />"That's not the position I hired you for"<br /><br />- Funniest scene: <br />1. Spidey dancing after shopping spree. <br />2. The proposal that never was. I almost rolled out of my seat.<br /><br />- Huuuh? Moments: <br />1. Sandman going off scot free? Now how. <br />2. Harry survived an explosion?<br />3. And still on dude - his face didnt heal fast despite his powers?<br />4. All it took was a butler(???) to change destiny? <br /><br />- Yawn moments: <br />1. Dude taking forever to die despite explosions, turning good, yadayada...<br />2. The seductive dance - Tobey has one left foot. And no other foot. Like watching a bad episode of Dancing with the Stars. Yuck.<br /><br />- Sad moments: <br />1. Sandman discovering he's sand; dude trying to get up....sniff sniff.<br />2. They trashed the sacred kiss - how could they. All I could do not to stomp off. Men are all the same; even Spidey!<br /><br />- The end (Go watch the movie, or wait for your usual <a href="http://www.nichgich.blogspot.com/">spoiler</a>, hehehe) Wacha the experts do their review. <br /><br />Nevertheless, it was a feel good movie - it delivered. I didn't walk out feeling cheated (Alexander the Great!!!). But still I did not feel an irresistible urge to clap like I did in Pirates 2, so let's wait for 24th for the final verdict between Spidey and Captain Jack. <br /><br />3. It's May - movie month my dears. First Spiderman 3 has kicked it off well enough. Now looking forward to Pirates 3, Shrek 3 (I think I have watched the first one 5 times if not more), Simpsons, Fantastic 4, Harry Potter (shudddup you!), Bourne Ultimatum, Transfomers, Oceans 13, bliss I tell ya. Pure bliss.<br /><br />4. Buggering off to Champara - the land of bananas - in the course of this month. Any opportunity to travel far and wide I love, love, love.<br /><br />5. Yaani I love lists, I <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Task_list">wikipediad </a>it! So, does this mean I am subconsiously managing time?<br /><br />OK, I have reached End of Thinking Capacity and all the wonderful things I wanted to write on have gone out of my head. I wish me a good week - after missing work for one week...the boss will be happy to see me.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Talking Parrots</span><br />A lady approaches her priest and tells him "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots,but they only know how to say one thing."<br /><br />"What do they say?" the priest inquired. <br /><br />"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some fun?'" <br /><br />"That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn the joys of praise and worship."<br /><br />"Thank you!" the woman responded. The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots are holding the rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots and the female parrots say "Hi we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?" <br /><br />One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put the beads away, brother. Our prayers have been answered!"Ichienahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02816554565275725302noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35287700.post-40464757618041063292007-05-01T13:14:00.000+03:002007-05-01T19:19:03.791+03:00NastyAfter all the "new posts" I have attempted to put up recently, I have given up on doing any. <br /><br />But today I got blogmojo from the most unexpected quarters. A big fat lip. And no, that is not a metaphore - in fact, here's a pic of the lip (taken by an ameature camera).<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQlrH3Fs8QigYFK6NCXaPiZjNxN0v-qtGGmQqvbxnJr97YXLdjA9d-XMCYSSsLUPnpkEGkOyhhi-pIT0mj_wODkYwSuFLLQS_H7KPqk1jQtIZLpiI1hFPfYAI3k-mbCFBB76IL1w/s1600-h/Lips+2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQlrH3Fs8QigYFK6NCXaPiZjNxN0v-qtGGmQqvbxnJr97YXLdjA9d-XMCYSSsLUPnpkEGkOyhhi-pIT0mj_wODkYwSuFLLQS_H7KPqk1jQtIZLpiI1hFPfYAI3k-mbCFBB76IL1w/s400/Lips+2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5059541616688534050" /></a><br /><br />I woke up today with a big fat lip. I got up and went to the bathroom and burst out laughing. Laughing because I kept thinking up stuff like - my lips look like they were stung by a bee; like a liposuction gone bad; hell, like the sort a plastic surgeon would advice that I consider shifting fat from my lips to my hips! And I laughed because life's been so nasty lately, I have no more energy to get depressed. And just like<a href="http://ichiena.blogspot.com/2007/01/heres-looking-at-bright-side.html"> I said once upon a time</a>, I have to look at the bright side of life, so:<br /><br />1. It was a good thing the office server crashed for a week and we were out of commission and living like neanderthals because i discovered that the grey funny looking thinga-majiga next to the photocopier in the store is a working typewriter - who knew!!<br /><br />2. And while still on that, I learnt to talk in a pleasant voice through ground teeth and proved once for all that I have no need to richen some dentist because my teeth will probably survive a nuclear attack.<br /><br />3.It was a good thing I got a strange case of "It comes from the bowels, like a bullet from a gun!" which meant a visit to the doc, prescription medicine and viola! A new untested and undiscovered and, I bet, futuristic rash. Caused by the medication. All good because there's a lot of cash to be made from getting an antidote?<br /><br />4.And, come on, my flash disk crashing, with 1 GB or 4months worth of data, and on Friday the 13th. Honestly - that was just Godsent, ama? It got me organised finally. I managed to delete all 25 duplicates of the same documents which were clogging my harddrive.<br /><br />5. And about the same time, my internet link went AWOL so I figured it was a good time for me to clean up the hard drive after all the procrastination. So like a bright gal I thought I was, I saddled up the laptop and went off to a Java. Settled in and started digging through the mountain of emails. But then - "Low Battery" and I thought, not to worry. Simply get out my electric cable and get back to work. But wait a minute! That aint my laptop's cable. Smart me had picked up the wrong cable. And no amount of cursing, whining, twisting, praying or crying could magically turn up the correct cable. But at least I managed to get a good breakfast. <br /><br />6. So it finally sunk in and I took myself to a bureau. Good thing I have a memory stick that can double up as a flash disk. Got settled again, logged in and started going through the emails. Then. Black out. Good thing it happened because I realised I can shout "Fukc" loud and clear in public.<br /><br />7. Then of course while all this was going on, I decided I had had enough and had to go and get something for the futuristic rash. Went to the doctor who prescribed more medication. The result being me up at 3am in the morning. Seated on my bed. Diligently scrubbing away at both my feet with the foot scrub. What's the good side of this you ask? Well, I managed to catch up on some reading which i had been putting off forever.<br /><br />8. But the best was waking up today morning and seeing the above on my face. In addition to the itchy feet (yeah yeah....itchy Ichiena....very funny), I got a swollen lip. Two swollen lips. Two swollen lips with feet. Two swollen lips with feet about to walk all over my face. So, the good thing about this is that i was able to laugh about it. And i was able to write about it. <br /><br />And that's looking at the bright side of life. There's always something to laugh about.....<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">The Blonde</span><br />A blonde woman was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote a note. "I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do this but I need the money. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park at 7 AM. Signed, "The Blonde."<br /><br />She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home. The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Inside the bag with the cash was the following note. "Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another."<br /> <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">SCIENTIFIC STUDY:</span><br />A leading South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study that has been published in a leading scientific journal in the US, has discovered that people with very low intellect read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse.<br /><br /><br /><br />Don't bother taking it off now. It's too late ...<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Same Difference</span><br />A Chinese went into a bar in Hawaii to have some drinks. At the counter he was amazed to see that he was sitting next to the famous Hollywood director, Steven Spielberg.<br /><br />After a round of beer the Chinese sensed that the famous director was glaring at him. Suddenly in a flash the Chinese crashed down from his stool, felled by a vicious punch from the director. Picking himself up he yelled, "What the hell was that for?" The director ranted, "That's for the bombing of Pearl Harbour, My dad perished in that bombing!". "I am not Japanese. I am Chinese!". "Yeah yeah yeah..... Japanese, Burmese, Chinese, You are all the same." Retorted Spielberg.<br /><br />Regaining his composure, the Chinese took his seat and ordered a double from the bartender. A few seconds later the Chinese turned round, and delivered a mighty punch to the director, sending him flat onto the floor. "What was that for?", exclaimed the director. "That's for sinking the 'Titanic'. I had ancestors on that ship!", the Chinese replied. "You ignorant man, Titanic was sunk by an iceberg!", shouted the director. "Yeah yeah yeah.....Iceberg, Carlsberg, Spielberg...you are all the<br />same!!".<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Father John</span><br />It was time for Father John's Saturday night bath, and the young nun Sister Magdalene had prepared the bath water and towels just the way the old nun had instructed.Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at Father John's nakedness if she could help it, do whatever he told her to do, and pray. The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene how the Saturday night bath had gone.<br /><br />"Oh, sister," said the young nun dreamily, "I've been saved."<br /><br />"Saved? And how did that fine thing come about?" asked the old nun.<br /><br />"Well, when Father John was soaking in the tub, he asked me to wash him, and while I was washing him he guided my hand down between his legs where he said the Lord keeps the Key to Heaven."<br /><br />"Did he now?" said the old nun evenly.<br /><br />Sister Magdalene continued," and Father John said that if the Key to Heaven fit my lock, the portals of Heaven would be opened to me and I would be assured salvation and eternal peace. And then Father John guided his Key to Heaven into my lock."<br /><br />"Is that a fact?" said the old nun even more evenly.<br /><br />"At first it hurt terribly, but Father John said the pathway to salvation was often painful and that the glory of God would soon swell my heart with ecstasy. And it did, it felt so good being saved."<br /><br />"That wicked old devil!" said the old nun. "He told me it was Gabriel's Horn, and I've been blowing it for 40 years!"Ichienahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02816554565275725302noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35287700.post-4341704799255026962007-04-20T13:50:00.000+03:002007-04-20T13:54:26.869+03:00And finally.....Back. Phew.Ichienahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02816554565275725302noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35287700.post-13963405607875452562007-03-16T13:43:00.000+03:002007-03-16T21:57:51.765+03:00HibernationPhew! Ichiena's probably lost more weight these past few weeks with all the running around. It all ends this Sunday (like I've been saying for so long!). For those who expressed an interest in <a href="/http://ichiena.blogspot.com/2007/03/tgif.html">Bowling </a>this Sunday, tafadhali beba socks and sneakers if you can. A large crowd is expected, they will probably run out of bowling shoes.<br /><br />So, blog winter's almost coming to an end and for that I say...........<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG4tADVAFUGe1QV32zFvrmlNXjUZGYYVUymnyyDkUFhyphenhyphenCIbjrNnxdZBrSmf6OzhvpuOQtaSk3ihyphenhyphenul0hN4x4HPI23wkBdyU9aX4_srIAlwdQdPPp6jvBt9107ygclefoHmVVNtnA/s1600-h/Prison+Break.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG4tADVAFUGe1QV32zFvrmlNXjUZGYYVUymnyyDkUFhyphenhyphenCIbjrNnxdZBrSmf6OzhvpuOQtaSk3ihyphenhyphenul0hN4x4HPI23wkBdyU9aX4_srIAlwdQdPPp6jvBt9107ygclefoHmVVNtnA/s400/Prison+Break.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5042472353156666418" /></a><br /><br />......................yes, it could be worse.<br /><br />And to share the laughs that have kept me sane:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Lunch Time</span><br />A Kikuyu man, a Kalenjin man and a Luhya man were doing construction work on the 20th floor of a building.<br /><br />They were eating lunch and the Kikuyu said, "Githeri and cabbage! If I get this one more time for lunch, I`m going to jump off this building".<br /><br />The Kalenjin opened his lunch box and exclaimed: "Ugali and mursik again! If I Get this again for lunch I going to jump off too!"<br /><br />The Lunje opened his lunch and said: "Chicken ugali again! Man, if I get this again for lunch I`m jumping with you guys!"<br /><br />The next day the Kikuyu opens his lunch, sure enough, Githeri and cabbage and he jumps off the building.<br /><br />The Kalenjin opens his lunch, sees his mursik lunch and he jumps too.<br /><br />The Lunje opens His lunch, sees the chicken ugali and joins his co-workers in death.<br /><br />At the funerals the Kikuyu`s wife is weeping. She says, "If I had known how much he hated Githeri and cabbage I would have never fixed it for him again!"<br /><br />The Kalenjin's wife is heartbroken, crying and says, "I could have just as easily fixed him chapati and beef. I didn`t realize he hated mursik with ugali so much."<br /><br />Everyone turned to the Lunje's wife. "Hey don't look at me", she says, "He always made his own packed lunch!"<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">25 Things That Men Wish Women Knew</span><br />1. Crying is blackmail.<br />2. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.<br />3. Don't cut your hair. Ever.<br />4. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.<br />5. Get rid of your cat.<br />6. Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible<br />in an argument.<br />7. Anything you wear is fine. Really.<br />8. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.<br />9. You have too many shoes.<br />10. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.<br />11. Learn to work the toilet seat; if it's up, put it down.<br />12. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.<br />13. Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing<br />from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.<br />14. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.<br />15. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.<br />16. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.<br />17. Sunday = Sports.<br />18. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap-opera guys.<br />19. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.<br />20. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?<br />21. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.<br />22. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done -- not both.<br />23. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.<br />24. You have enough clothes.<br />25. Nothing says "I love you" like sex.Ichienahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02816554565275725302noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35287700.post-21270075331446249212007-03-08T22:23:00.000+03:002007-03-08T22:46:56.982+03:00More Ramblings...<a href="http://mywordsonly.blogspot.com/">Aco</a>, this is one of those I woke up, brushed my teeth, showered post…..bite / bait / spank me…..hehehe. Best be off dear. You have been warned.<br /><br />Lakini stress levels combined with laziness to blog have reached an all time high. Life is jam-packed with so much activity I actually made a statement last week that I will never ever repeat, “I wish there were more working hours in a day”. This was done during a lucid and sober moment in the middle of a working day. My colleague is yet to pick his bottom jaw from the floor.<br /><br />So, what’s been happening this side of the asylum? After a frighteningly busy week, got down to a madder/murder weekend, starting with Friday evening where I was in charge of a little get-together which ended at Club Soundd. Kwani Nairobians do not rave anywhere else in town? And what’s with the minute dance floor being smack in the centre of the room? Anyway, ‘twas like the entire city had come out to play. At Club Soundd. Hooters next door was deserted (though after waiting almost an hour for my order, I understand why). After demurring for kedo (wa, that word I have lifted from the archives) an hour, I got down and dirty shaking my non-existent toosh on the floor. Worked up quite the sweat while at it too, hehehe. Uvundo I tell ya. Clock struck midnight and I was out like Cinderella.<br /><br />Sato, I was in town by 6am. Yes, 6am. Some mad part of me had volunteered to participate in the Rotary Rally for the Physically and Mentally Challenged. This is an annual event which is a fun day for school age children with the said disabilities. On Saturday we had approximately 3,000 children in one arena. There’s nothing comparable to the feeling of giving back to society. (Which reminds me – is there anything like selfless giving? If you give and announce it to the world, does it water down the “giving” since you are getting something back, even if it is only ego-stroking moments? And if you give silently, but still derive pleasure from doing so, or feel holier-than-thou or goody-two-shoes, no matter how private that feeling is, does it negate the “selflessness” of the giving? So what is “selfless giving”?)<br /><br />Anyway, had a blast. The most poignant moment for me was when one of the kids got so excited about a butterfly I painted on half their face (yes, I dusted the cobwebs off my art lessons and was designated face painter for the day) they hugged me without warning. Speaking of cobwebs, all the boys wanted spidey and I think I can now do it ok. <a href="http://www.spideyfun.blogspot.com/">Dude</a>, want a spidey face for premier night? (yes, I am counting down the days to Spidey 3…NuMetro are already talking of a World Premier show with tickets approximately 1K or 1.2K). Another highlight was getting MY face painted. I was a blue/green cat for the day…mhm mhm mhm…purrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhh…At the end of the day I was so tired, I passed out on (not under!) a table somewhere in NCBD environs mid-supper and practically sleepwalked home afterwards and only managed to get back into my bed after 10pm. <br /><br />Come Sunday, I was in town at 11am. Doing what you ask? Going for my swimming classes (I am determined to get over deep-water-fear this year. Of course, there’s also the bit of the great migration southwards of what’s left of my toosh so it’s operation No-More-Lard). Saturday I was on my feet for 12 straight hours + swimming is exercise = Ichiena-zombie. And to top it all, despite my dark dark dark…er…blue black complexion, I have managed to achieve a peeling nose. (The most annoying thing this week is people keep telling me there’s “something” on my nose!!. It’s a layer of my nose!!). That took a good part of the day. Come evening, no rest for me yet. Went to must-attend-or-be-killed-dinner where I was expected to hobnob with the who’s who (in my books), smile and understand kenyanised wengs. Two highlights though; one being dinning under the stars. Niiice! When I grow up I want an open balcony I can dine on. Highlight number two – argh was bartending. At my beck and call! No, I wasn’t nasty. All’s forgiven (he apologized some time back, rather sweetly I might add, which he had to do after I unleashed quite the torrent and I can be the expert at ranting), we are cool. He’s back in my good books (BOOKS….nothin’ else. The ship has sailed). Still, it was a collection of PUB (Pure Unadulterated Bliss) moments. Got back home and in bed at midnight. So by my rusty mathafu, I had no weekend to talk of.<br /><br />Come Monday and…who am I kidding. Mondays do not exist in my world. “I am” on Monday. So, come Tuesday, elections of this project I am a part of and who’s in charge? Mhmmm. It all went well (we stay out of any fruity business) but the sheer agony of organizing it. <br /><br />I got up today and wondered whether it was Wednesday or Thursday. In February or March. And realised maisha yanipita tu. I needed to log this down so that I can look back one day and remember I lived. <br /><br />PS1: To those who sought me out, thanks. I am fine. When I die you will be the first to know (just like all our parents were number one in school).<br /><br />PS2: To those who caused because I have been stingy with the jokes supply, laugh to your fill below.<br /><br />PS3: Eeeek! <a href="http://www.nichgich.blogspot.com/">Tato </a>– I have just realised I have done what you once warned me about!<br /><br />PS4: Ati there’s going to be an earthquake across Nai?<br /><br />PS5: What’s with aggregator and free smses sites? <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">1. Assicons</span><br />We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons," where: <br /><br />:) means a smile and <br /><br />:( is a frown. <br /><br />Sometimes these are represented by <br /><br />:-) <br /><br />:-( <br /><br />Well, how about some "ASSICONS?" Here goes: <br /><br />(_!_) a regular ass <br /><br />(__!__) a fat ass <br /><br />(!) a tight ass <br /><br />(_*_) a sore ass <br /><br />{_!_} a swishy ass <br /><br />(_o_) an ass that's been around<br /><br />(_x_) kiss my ass <br /><br />(_X_) leave my ass alone <br /><br />(_zzz_) a tired ass <br /><br />(_E=mc2_) a smart ass <br /><br />(_$_) Money coming out of his ass <br /><br />(_?_) Dumb Ass<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">2. The Atheist</span><br />An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that the "accident of evolution" had created. "What majestic trees!What a powerful river! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.<br /><br />As he walked alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look and saw a 7-foot grizzly charging towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him. He ran even faster, so scared that tears were coming to his eyes. He looked over his shoulder again and the bear was even closer. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run faster still. He tripped and fell to the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear... right on top of him... reaching for him with the left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.<br /><br />At that instant the atheist cried out "Oh my God, please help me..."<br /><br />Suddenly, time stopped. The bear froze in motion. The forest was ever so silent. Even the river ceased to move. A brilliant ray of light emerged from the sky and shone upon the man. A powerful voice spoke to him, "You have denied my existence for all of these years; you teach others that I do not exist and you credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you now as a believer?"<br /><br />The atheist blinked directly into the light "It would be hypocritical of me to convert to a Christian after all these years, but could you instead make the bear a Christian?"<br /><br />"Very well," said the voice from above. The bright light disappeared. All of a sudden, life resumed around the man. The river ran again. The forest became alive once more with the gentle sounds of nature.<br /><br />The bear stirred. Slowly, he lowered his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head and graciously spoke:<br /><br />"Lord, for this food which I am about to receive, I am truly thankful."<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />3. LEARN TO ALWAYS PAY ATTENTION</span><br />First-year students at a Med College were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around thesurgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor began the lecture by telling them: "In medicine, it is necessary to possess two important qualities as a doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body." <br /><br />To illustrate, he pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the anus of the corpse, withdrew it,and stuck it in his mouth." Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students.<br /><br />The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it. When everyone finished, the professor looked at them and said, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention!"Ichienahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02816554565275725302noreply@blogger.com13